Smile Alice!
by FrancesMoon
Summary: Alice uses her eating disorder as a way to cope with her slightly messy home life. Then she means Jasper and he becomes her rock. I wrote it ages and it's badly written, so my apologies!xoxoxo
1. Chapter 1

I slammed the door behind me and exhaled heavily before getting into my car.

I like the time between being at home and being at school, its quiet.

…Also not full of people who I have lost all respect for.

Well no I have respect for the people who I am friends with at school, there all lovely.

But at home, ugh.

I live with my mom, dad and one of two brothers Edward.

As I recently found out, my parents are swingers. No honestly! I even came across photographic evidence, that I wish I had never found….

Shudders.

Being swingers means basically two couples going out for the evening and fucking about together. Because obviously you can't get enough from the person you married to so feel the need to-

Yeah anyway…

This means I can hardly speak to them anymore without those images fluttering back into my head and making my eyes want to burn. They have officially reached a new level of rankness.

Now don't get me wrong swingers are ok, unless they have three teenage kids! Its just not right.

Then there's my brothers, well I only live with one of them. Edward, we don't talk all that much he's always with his girlfriend Bella.

Then there's my other brother Emmett, we get on like a house on fire but he is training for basket ball across the state and only comes home on Sundays.

And while Emmett's training for basket ball, Edward and Bella are being the perfect couple and my parents are swinging every time they have a chance.

They forget me, they ignore me and what I'm doing.

I have an eating disorder. Its not bad like but its still there and it still drives me insane! I know it's not a bad eating disorder because I'm not thin enough for it to be that bad.

But that stays at home, my friends no bits and bobs about what's going on at home with my parents and stuff. But I don't speak about it in school, or anywhere really.

I cleared my mind for the rest of the drive, forgetting things at home.

I pulled into my usual space in the school car park. My friend Becki was sat on the bonnet of her car with two starbucks cups and two paper bags which meant breakfast coffee and muffins. Calorie filled muffins.

I exhaled deeply and picked up my bad before getting out the car to meet Becki.

"Alice! How are ya?" I smiled my amazingly believable smile.

"I'm ok, you know I've been better I've been worse" I paused "What about you?"

She shoved the paper bag and my skinny iced latte into my hands and started to talk to me about a phone call she'd had with a cute guy she wanted to ask out.

She sounds so cute when she talks about him, and he sounds cute as well. I've seen him round school and he is buff too.

By the end of her story we were sat 10 minutes early outside our art class. Becki was half way through her muffin, and mine was still un-touched in the paper bag.

"Alice are you going to eat that muffin or just keep gripping the paper bag till your knuckles turn white?" She stared at my gormlessly.

"I'm really not that hungry, I'll have it at lunch or something…"

"Well you better your starting to look like a skeleton!"

And like a fairy godmother Lavender joined us to break what was about to be a awkward silence.

**Ok, not very long I know but just as a little taster. **

**Some more characters will come into it in the next few chapters. **

**The next 4 chapters are written already, just on paper so they will be up as soon as I type them up!**

**Please review and tell me what y'all think =) **


	2. Chapter 2

I practically ran to my car when the bell rang that day. I'd just had Biology and after that class I need more than alone time before I face the family plus Bella.

Slamming my car door I dropped my bag on the passenger seat before anyone had time to stop me and slowly made my way home, making the most of this time was important.

As soon as I got home I walked lazily up the stairs and into my bedroom, then flopped on the bed.

I could smell my perfume on the pillows. I stayed just lying there breathing in the scent.

I curled into a ball with my legs real tight to my chest and stared out my window. I wasn't looking at anything particular, then I noticed a small huddle of birds in a tree and remembered two things.

The first was the muffin I'd "eaten" at lunch. I picked up the brown paper bag and took the muffin out, and opened my window. I began to break it into little bits for the birds. They better stop pooping on my Porsche for this…

The second thing I remembered was my meeting with a certain Mr. Scales. Closing the window after scattering the muffin I proceeded to enter my bathroom and strip myself of clothing.

Taking a deep breath I placed two feet on the scales. I watched the blurred white background and black numbers merge into grey then, stop.

There is black and white was my weight.

90lbs.

Ugh.

I put my clothes back on slowly, trying to avoid looking at the scales.

-5lbs and I will be happy.

After I got my clothes back on I flopped on my bed again. This time staring directly at the ceiling.

I began thinking about the lessons I had the next day. Tomorrow was….

Wait, tomorrow was Saturday.

Which meant today was Friday.

Which also meant my parents would be back home early, make curry then go out swinging.

Classy.

It also meant I would have to sit down and listen to there days and listen to Edward and Bella talking in there flat mellow voices.

On that note I realized I should probably spend the rest of the evening doing something eventful like going out with friends. Most of my friend wouldn't have plans yet so I could probably organize something after tea.

I decided that before Edward and Bella got home I would make the most of a free house and put a CD on and do some dancing. One of the many things I could only do when no one was around.

Some time later that same evening after tiring myself out dancing I found myself lying on my bed moving my head from side to side in time with the music I had playing. My parents, Edward and Bella had been home a while so the daunting meal was getting closer and closer.

"ALICE?" My mother shouted up the stairs. This meant teas ready come down here so y'all can bore you with our highly boring days.

"Yeah mum I'll be there in a minute" Before leaving my room I took a deep steadying breath and pranced down stairs and to the table.

I found myself running the outfits my mother and Bella were wearing through my head to try and stop myself listening to the conversation about Edwards English essay. After due consideration my mother dressed like a colour blind old lady and Bella dressed like a cheap hiker.

After consuming 4 fork full's of rice, 3 small Bombay potatoes and 2 glasses of water I excused myself from the table.

I walked as fast as I could without sounding suspicious up the stairs and into my room. I shut my door behind me, then my bathroom door behind me and locked it.

I grabbed one of two toothbrushes of the side of my sink and before knelt in front of the porcelain bowl I turned the shower on so no one would hear me.

When I was done I flushed then began cleaning my teeth with the other toothbrush to get the gross taste out my mouth while I cleaned the end of the toothbrush I'd just used. It wasn't classy but it had to be done.

I then striped my bother and hoped into the already blaring shower.

The hot water felt good on my skin as I washed my hair and shaved my legs. I finished up my shower washing myself with my favorite rose body wash and my pink heart shaped sponge.

When I was done in the shower I got out not wanting slip like I had zone numerous times and began drying myself off.

I looked myself up and down in my mirror. I wasn't fat, I just wasn't thin …and way too chubby in some areas. But, that could be changed. I smiled sweetly at the thought of my perfect body and convinced myself what I was doing was right.

**This chapter was a little longer and I stayed up later writing it when I should have been writing my English media essay. **

**I think I'm going to do a chapter every night till I get my laptop back from laptop hospital. **

**Please review and tell me what you guys think because I'm very grateful =) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Song Suggestion: Mykonos by Fleet Foxes **

I awoke after the first proper nights sleep I'd had in months. The light shone through the curtains casting dancing shadows across my room. I snuggled deeper into the silky covers and reached for my phone. I had one message from Esme which read 'Me and Carlisle are at work today and Emmett is at baseball practice, help yourself to food love you xx' So the only person around was Edward. This could be interesting.

Not wanting to waste the day I got up and went for a shower. The hot water felt glorious against my already refreshed body. I washed my hair and shaved my legs slowly. When I have free days like today, I enjoy prolonging mundane activities. It seems to relax me, there's no pressure to be ready for a certain time to be anywhere.

Wrapping myself in a towel I wondered into my wardrobe. I probably wouldn't be leaving the house today so there was no need to dress properly. I moisturized and dressed in a grey Juicy Couture tracksuit. Me and my friends in New York used to wear matching ones while nursing our hangovers after nights out. I wrapped my still wet hair in a towel and headed downstairs.

Edward was sat at one end of the kitchen table, an empty plate sat in front of him and his head was in a book "Good morning, how are you?" He was peaking over the top of his book now.

"Fabulous, thanks and yourself?" I poured myself a cup of coffee and began to examine the contents of the fridge.

"I'm well, if you don't have any plans today I could show you round the town?" I picked a small box of strawberries from the fridge and sat opposite him sipping my coffee.

"That's nice of you, what is there to see in Forks then?" I couldn't help but smirk. I'd googled Forks a million times after it was decided I'd move here, there was literally nothing to do.

"Well," he put his book down. "You'll need to know how to get to and from school without me or Emmett guiding you now your cars here-"

"MY CAR IS HERE?" I jumped up running towards the front door, I could hear his footsteps behind me. Sure enough, I opened the door and my perfect yellow car was sat in the drive.

"THAT'S MY CAR!" I squealed, I was literally almost bouncing with excitement. I ran out barefoot occasionally wincing when I stood on a stone. I tried hugging it but I must have just looked like a starfish because I could hear Edward laughing.

"You really do like your car don't you?"

"Yes!" I began to walk back towards the house. "So if you direct me can I drive?"

He agreed and after finishing breakfast, drying my hair and putting on some Ugg boots I deemed us ready to leave. I'd never have gone out with no make up on in a tracksuit and Uggs in New York but this was Forks. My windows were also tinted.

"It feels so good to be back." I sunk into the drivers seat and buckled up, Edward did the same. I turned the key and the engine purred "Amazing right?" Edward looked half amused, half curious. "What? Honestly, that look is starting to bug me."

"You're just not like I thought you'd be." He laughed looking away as I pulled out onto the mud path.

"How so? Did you expect me to be traumatized and crying all the time?" I shocked myself at my own bluntness. "Sorry, it wasn't supposed to sound so blunt." I'd had the crying faze for the first few weeks after the accident, but when Esme had visited and talked some sense into me, I'd started to get back to normal. Kinda.

"Kind of, I just thought you'd be more difficult. Turn left." I did as he said "I'm glad though, things were starting to get a little boring round here."

"Forks boring? Could you believe it." We laughed and he continued directing me towards the school. He tipped me off about the quality of the coffee shops and diners that we passed. The route to the school wasn't complicated and Edward insisted I drove back without directions to prove I knew where I was going.

"What you said earlier," I broke the silence "I could have been difficult but I didn't want to be, in a way I was glad to leave New York." I'd only recently managed to admit this to myself.

"Yeah, but leaving New York is one thing, leaving and moving to Forks is another." I laughed, he was right of course. Ideally I would have moved to somewhere like LA and learnt to surf. But no, Forks.

"I just have a good feeling about Forks." It was true, I'd thought this entire process was going to be heart breaking. Leaving New York and all the 'glamour' of the upper east side. But things were so relaxed here, I felt more at home than I had in that empty apartment for the past few months. This was a good fresh start for me.

"Wow, a good feeling about Forks? I bet you never thought you'd say that." We laughed most of the way home. We spent the rest of the day talking about what the high school was like, what everyone did at weekends and he asked me about New York like Emmett had. The evening passed much like the last, it was friday and both Carlisle and Esme had booked the weekend off. We stayed up a little later and watched Pulp Fiction together, they'd let me choose.

The weekend passed too fast for my liking. Although both boys had reassured be that school wouldn't be so bad I couldn't help but worry. On saturday my timetable came through the post, I had math and gym with Edward but no classes with Emmett because he was a senior and we were juniors. On sunday me and Esme had to meet with the bank.

My parents wills had only recently been released meaning we had to spend hours sorting out what and when things would come to me. I'd inherit everything they'd left behind when I turned 21 and a trust fund would come through when I reached 18. Till then the monthly allowance I'd been receiving since I was 14 would continue. I had to sign and agree to let Esme be in charge of their estate till I was of age. We'd agreed that selling my father's company would be for the best and it would be going up for sale in a month.

It was now sunday evening and I was lying on the floor of my wardrobe trying to figure out what would be an acceptable outfit for the first day of term. I groaned racking my brain for a nice yet not to stand out outfit which was also warm and- No, I could not think of anything!

"Having trouble?" I jumped and sat straight up to see both Emmett and Edward stood in the door way, amused obviously.

"It's polite to knock you know." I stood up gazing at the mass of clothes hung and piled round the room "I don't know what to wear!"

"Of course you don't." It was Edward who spoke this time "Think casual, like jeans and a t-shirt."

"I don't think Alice does jeans and t-shirt, you know." Emmett laughed "Wear what you like, who cares if you fit in." He was right, it didn't really matter if I fit in or not but Edward was also right...

"Oh! I know, I know!" I reached to select the garments for my outfit and they both approved. I added my gym kit and pencil case to my bag and everything was ready.

**Favourite and review guys! The chapters will keep coming fast I promise! xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up at 11:46.

I paused for a moment thinking back to the night before.

Well, that's good I can remember it so can't have been that drunk…

I opened my eyes to see Jacobs's plain cream coloured ceiling looking back at me. I risked lifting my head, slowly does it…

Ah! Its fine, no hangover for me then!

I felt around my surroundings, I was on a bed? Jacob's bed.

On my own? I checked under the duvet and on the floor and even under the bed, you never know with Seth…

Definitely on my own.

I looked down at myself, great. Where the heck was the rest of my clothes?!

I still had on my red and white polka dot panties my white bra and still have my white top and bracelets on.

I got up and left Jacobs room passing a mirror on the way out.

Jeez.

I walked through into the lounge where Jacob was sat with his head in his hands with a bucket next to him. I sat down next to him.

"Rough much" He gave a low chuckle.

He lifted his head and looked at me.

"You?"

"I'm fine" I laughed.

"Lucky" He mumbled then went rather pale. I grabbed him the bucket just in time and rubbed his back while he hurled.

I was no stranger to vomit after all it was almost a nightly thing. But people didn't know that. No one knew.

"Why is it every time I puke your always here to rub my back…" He said after he finished.

"Cus I'm always here for ya" I winked at him he chuckled again.

"Jeez, I feel like death on legs" He put his head back in his hands. I Put my arm round him and gave him a small squeeze.

"Would you like me to get you something?"

"A cure for a hangover pleeaaaaaaaase!"

"You know they don't exist" I laughed.

"But people say the best cure is breakfast …Or brunch?" He turned and looked at me.

"What the heck is brunch?!"

"…A cross between breakfast and lunch, normally a form of fry u or something" Who doesn't know brunch?!

"Oh that sounds, interesting… Would you mind making me brunch?" He asked with his big puppy dog eyes.

"My pleasure" I smiled and went into his kitchen, most of the one story house was open plan so I could still talk to him while I cooked his brunch.

I made eggs, bacon, beans, fried tomatoes and toast. Obviously I didn't have any myself, firstly because I don't eat meat and secondly well yeah it goes unsaid.

By the time I served his brunch up he no longer had his head in his hands and was sat up normally.

"Here you go…" I brought his place over to him.

"Thanks" He said then looking very confused added "Alice where did your jeans go?"

"Oh I erh don't really know…"

"Wouldn't surprise me if Seth has them on his head or something…" He tucked into his breakfast and didn't say anything else till he was about half way through.

"Didn't you make yourself anything?" Shit.

"I'm never really hungry in the mornings…" I looked at my feet. My toes were a shocking shade of turquoise.

"Your never really hungry in general are you?" He tilted his head so he was in my line of vision.

"You know I should really go and find Seth and Becki…" I stood up and his eyes changed suddenly.

"Alice I'm sorry, I-"

"It's fine honestly" I left the room. Although the house was small they did have an extra room which was where I found Becki and Seth.

Becki was still passed out and Seth had been woken up when I came in.

"Nice boxers" Was the first thing I said, they were nice. Rubix cube.

"Nice panties babe" He winked at me as I rolled my eyes.

"Come on I'll make you some brunch or something"

"Ugh, I'm not moving from this spot" He smiled at me.

"May I ask why?"

"Cus I'm scared if I move I will start feeling rough again …and you know what happens when I feel rough after drinking" Oh jeez I do!

"You hurl like a fire hose" I felt ill at the memory of the last time…

"Fine" I said and turned to leave.

"Wait" I turned back "Seth have you seen my jeans?"

"Oh yeah…." He felt around where he lay "There right…. HERE!" He threw me my creased jeans "Oh and look" He through me my checked and in the pocket was my silver locket.

"Thanks well I'm going to get off now, I'm meeting Emmett at half one so I'll see you later" I left.

I passed Jacob on the way out as I grabbed my bag.

"Alice?" His voice echoed, I turned round.

Oh.

His head was in the bucket.

"Didn't go down so well then?"

"It was lovely but I moved to quick to go after you before and-"

"Like a fire hose" I laughed and have him a one arm hug "I need to go home and get ready to meet Emmett, so text me later or something" I left.

**The next chapter may honestly be as short in length as I am in height if you want it this evening. **

**Please review and tell me what you think =)**


	5. Chapter 5

I got home and avoided by my parents and brother by running up the stairs and jumping in the shower.

After I was done in the shower I got out, dried my hair, got changed then did my hair and make-up.

I put on a floaty white dress with a grey cardigan, white tights and skin coloured ballet pumps. I also had my locket on, as usual.

I grabbed my grey bag and checked the time on my phone.

13:23

Well done me, I would be late. Again…

I ran downstairs, bag over my shoulder and left for Starbucks. On the way down I ran into Edward and explained briefly about Emmett coming back early and got him to pass the message onto the parents.

I pulled into starbucks at 13:34

Not bad time actually, all things considered.

I got out the car and almost ran into Emmett.

"Late again Alice?" He raised an eyebrow.

"4 Minutes! You have to admit it could have been worse…"

"True" He said hugging me.

"So how have things been at home" He asked as we walked from my car to the entrance.

"Well you know this and that…." I looked at my hands.

"Alice, if there's something your not telling me then-"

"Its just weird cus obviously Edward doesn't know about mum and dad so he just acts normal and he should really know…." Emmett crunched his forehead which meant he was thinking.

"True, we should tell him tonight or something" I nodded. Then ordered my drink, skinny iced chocolate. Lovely.

Emmett got his usual vanilla latte.

"So how are things at school?" He asked as we sat down at a table in the far corner.

"Oh there good you know, like most classes are anyway" He nodded.

"What did you get up to last night then?" He asked with a smile.

"They were awesome" I laughed "Well until everyone woke up, Jacob and Seth are serious fire hoses" We both laughed, the expression was one we had been using since we were little.

We stayed chatting till we'd finished our drinks then Emmett came back in my car, he'd been dropped off at Starbucks by one of his team mates.

"I still can't get over the fact you drive a yellow Porsche…" He muttered flicking through one of my many magazines as we zoomed down the highway.

"Seriously Em, what's wrong with my Porsche?!" I asked heatedly.

"Oh nothing…" He chuckled to himself.. I gave him my glare as I gave him a sideways glance "It's just…"

"Just what?!"

"Well seriously. IT'S YELLOW!"

"Yellow is good…"

Later on that same day we found ourselves sitting down for dinner with the parents, Edward and Bella.

I didn't want to appear like I wasn't eating at all, because I don't want Emmett to pick up on that. And he is darn observant.

So I ate a bit but it apparently wasn't enough to fool Emmett as I found out some time later.

I was sat in the front room, the parents had gone out and Bella had to go home because the next day she was catching a flight to go see her mum.

Emmett only half watching the game, Edward was reading Wuthering heights for the millionth time and I was texting Seth.

Then suddenly, BAM.

Emmett switched the T.V off.

Insert your shocked face here, he never does that unless he means business. I and Edward knew this witch was the reason both our heads had snapped up when he had turned it off.

"Dude what's wrong?" Edward asked putting his book down.

"This family is what's wrong" Oh jeez, this kid means business…

"Edward, our parents are swingers" Edwards face dropped "Honestly, we have all the proof you need" You could drive Bella's truck through his gapping mouth "The websites, pictures, texts…"

Edward closed his mouth and pinched the top of his nose.

"Of all the parents we could have had…."

"I'm not finished yet pal" Emmett continued. "Your always with Bella" He jumped to defend him and his girlfriend and Emmett fod slapped him into silence "Which has left Alice dealing with that" He looked at me.

Oh sweet Jesus he better not say what I think he's gonna say other wise I'm going to regret not having a eject button installed on this sofa…

"I don't know how the heck you've been able to deal with this on your own" He glared at Edward who opened his mouth to talk before being pushed down again by Emmett.

"That was till today and I put the pieces together" He paused "You don't sleep judging by the times of your Facebook updates and you've lost so much weight since we found out about this, like 10lbs or something?!"

13lbs actually….

"Which is a form of stress?"

Phew! Close one. I nodded convincingly not looking up at either of them. After a bit more brotherly and sisterly loving heart to heart. I found myself in a big group hug.

All in all a very interesting day I thought to myself as I lay in bed.

BEEP BEEP.

Text from Jacob:

Alice! I know you won't be asleep you never are. What are you doing tomorrow? I know your brothers round but we are having a BBQ at the rez and I thought you might wanna come? And me and Seth have been like fire hoses alllllll day x

I laughed and text back:

Ewh, seriously gross. I'd love to come to the BBQ and Emmett has to go see his old high school friends anyway so it all fits in well. How was Becki? x

The time on my phone caught my eye.

04:27

Fantastic.

BEEP BEEP.

Ugh, I should really put my phone on silent….

Jacob:

Oh she was sorta green… Then her mum picked her up so I don't know. That's great Seth, Jared and Quil will be there as well =) x

Me:

Well that's Becki for you… And tomorrow is going to be so awesome =) why are you awake at this time anyway? X

I turned my phone on silent. Fwahahahaha that will stop the annoying beeping noise.

Me 1 . Annoying Beeping Noise 0

**I hope you guys enjoyed that.**

**I might be able to get another chapter up tonight seen as it's still rather early.**

**Oh you lucky ducks XD **

**Review please my darlings =)**


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up with light beaming through my window, the pretty morning light with a fresh sun.

The first thing I did was put my dressing gown over my baggy t-shirt and panties then walk over to the window which greeted me with a soft winter morning. I just looked out my window for a while. Not thinking. Just looking.

I snapped out of it and proceeded to check the time.

7:55

Judging from the time of my last sent text, 4:32 I'd had about three hours and twenty three minutes sleep. Great.

I moved from standing in front of my window to the bathroom deciding a nice long bubble bath would do me good seen as no one would be up for the next three hours.

I sat on the side of the bath as water ran out the taps steaming. I liked watching water, it was consistent but changed from hot to cold, but could find room temperature and could be normal.

After sitting watching it for a while I snapped out of it and something else caught my attention.

Oh how I hate those scales. They sit there on the floor giving me the look. The look being the look that means come stand on me. It was something I couldn't resist.

I yanked off my gown and sleepwear then placed my feet on the cold plastic. The black and white numbers span on the white background turning grey. Then bam there was my weight.

89lbs.

Funny how some little lbs can either bring misery or happiness just through showing you a number. And I was being like water today I'm not happy or miserable, I'm room temperature.

I waited a little longer for the bath to run then when the water had well passed the half way line I turned the taps off and sunk into my tub of rose scented bubbles.

I spent a good 45 minutes in the bath leisurely blowing bubbles round the bathroom and thinking. I had a nice long think. Most people like to think in bed or thinking while they pee …well maybe not that last one but something like that right?

But no, I can only think properly in baths, there's just something about them that makes me think.

After my nice long think I washed my hair and shaved my legs. I hated getting dressed straight after getting out the bath so after drying myself I put on fresh underwear and my gown before unplugging the bath and taking a left out my bedroom door.

The time?

08:18

Jeez, I think for once I might be on time meeting my friends. This might actually shock them way too much and seen as I wanted to spend the afternoon and evening with them it probably wasn't the best idea to turn up on time and give them a heart attack or something.

I'd have to text them telling them I'd be on time.

Now the more pressing matter of what to wear. Pulling open my wardrobe doors I stared at the colour coordinated garments. Well I did after my dizzy spell had finished blinding my vision.

It took me far too long just to decide what I was going to wear. For most people it's a five minute thinking process that might be changed after doing hair and make-up and taking a look at the jewelry.

But no, just like everything else in the world it was much more complicated when it was me. It had to be. It took me a total of 22 minutes to decide exactly what I was wearing.

White I LOVE NY t-shirt with red cardigan, white netted cream above the knee tutu, black tights with my red dolly shoes and possibly black leg warmers if need be.

I curled my hair and did my make-up real nice. Today felt like a good day I thought as I put my silver locket round my neck as usual. And if it was going to be a good day, I wanted to look good.

I checked the time once again. I'm very conscious of time, it's a very important thing.

09:30

Lovely, I was going to meet Jacob at 10:00 for drinks at Starbucks then it was off to the Rez.

I picked up my bag and checking everything was in there I skipped out my room and almost ran into Emmett.

"Wow wow wow" Emmett scanned me up and down "Where you off to?"

"I'm going to meet Jacob at Starbucks for breakfast then going to the Rez for a BBQ"

"Oh ok …when are you back"

"Some time tonight" And will be too tired to talk there for will avoid speaking to you and Edward about these silly situations.

"See you later then" He hugged me then went into his room he use to have when he lived here.

I danced down the stairs out the door and into my car. I love my car, it's so yellow.

I got to Starbucks bang on time which surprised the hell out of Jacob who looked in shock as he walked across the parking lot.

"Oh my god! Is Alice on time?!" He said hugging me.

"Yes it is!" I giggled "Come on lets go inside its freezing!"

"You should wear more then a cardigan out the house then, it is still winter you know…" I gave him one of my looks and we walked into the very warm Starbucks.

**I know I haven't uploaded in ages but I can't help it my laptops in hospital and my parents are always on the house computer.**

**Thankyou to people who review and put this on story alert.**

**Much love x**


	7. Chapter 7

"Alice did you want anything else?" Jacob asked handing me my drink.

"No, I've already had breakfast" I thought for a moment "Me and Emmett got up early and had pancakes" I beamed at him.

"Good" He said beaming back. This instantly sent a pang of guilt through me, I didn't like lying and I normally don't mean to. But sometimes it's for there own good.

We sat happily for a while slurping at our drinks, talking and laughing but then the subject came up. Just as I knew it would.

"So, are things sorted at home now?" He's giving me that look, the big _I really want everything to be ok for you _look

"Yeah things are fine" I said taking a long icy drink from my green straw.

"Alice, your not fooling me" He cocked his head so it was more in line with mine "You can't fool me, and I'm not going to have you lie to me, I honestly care about you"

I wanted to cry. Just sit there and cry. But you can't sit there crying in Starbucks while your buff friend has no idea what's going on.

"Things are just weird" I decided short sentences would be best seen as it was that or like my voice break and a tear run down my cheek "You know like with my parents doing what there doing, and Emmett not being there" Much longer then I thought I could manage.

"But are you ok?" He put the emphasis on the you.

"I" I thought for a minute "I don't know" Close to breaking point there I looked down at my drink not letting him see my face.

"Come on lets go we'll be late at the Rez" He paused "We'll talk about this in the car"

We approached my car but Jacob walked to the driver's side.

"What are you…?"

"Driving your car" I went to open the car door then looked up "Keys?" Rolling my eyes I handed him my keys and got in the passenger seat and we sped off in the direction of the Rez.

"So you don't know if you're ok?" He asked giving me a side ways glance.

"No"

"What makes you say that?" Sneaky side ways glance again.

"Just stuff"

"Alice I don't wanna sound silly but you make no sense"

"I know"

"For fucks sake Alice what's wrong with you?!" I felt a tear run down my face "Alice I-"

"Its fine" I didn't know what I should say; I didn't know what was wrong.

"I don't wanna sound mean, but you've got so thin" I felt my body tense "Mhmm?"

I knew he was waiting for me to admit to something, I didn't know what I would be admitting to. I wasn't anorexic, maybe an eating disorder but not….

"Alice me and Seth are so worried about you" He paused "He wanted to come see you today about it, but I told him not too just incase he freaked out" I nodded staring out the window trying to control my shaking.

The car stopped, we were at the Rez.

"Alice, promise you'll eat something" I bit my lip.

"Ok"

"I mean it Alice, promise me" He looked me straight in the eye with his big brown eyes, I can't break a promise with Jacob And its just one night, it won't make a difference. Then the voice at the back of my head pointed out that it would make a difference, I imagined punching that voice in the face.

"I wouldn't break a promise to you Jacob" I smiled and learned over to hug him.

For a while me, Jacob, Seth and Leah just sat around playing scrabble and Cluedo while there parents set up for the BBQ outside.

Part of me wished my parents were the sort of parents who would set up BBQ's with my friend's parents so we could all sit round and have a nice time like one big family. But just like Jacobs dad Billy said "Alice, your family are the people who care for you and seen as that's us your part of the family, pass us the remote would you?"

It was about 6ish when they got the BBQ started and true to my Jacob promise I was going to eat something, I just hadn't quite figured out what yet….

But the fact was I knew I wouldn't get out of it because he had his eye on me and when Jacob had his eye on you all you can do is smile like a sweetie and do what you promised to do.

We sat round the bomb fire while Billy and Sue cooked over the steaming BBQ. I liked watching the fire when I was little my mum use to tell me that the hot bits that flew out the fire were fire fairies, this use to upset me because they turned from bright burning orange to dust and made me think about fairies dying. How grim.

I was watching the fire when Jacob told me the food was ready, still with that look. I am starting to hate that look. I suddenly felt too full, full of the food I hadn't eaten. As I stood up I realized I was shaking.

I don't get why it's that difficult just to go and eat, I mean it's a normal daily thing, it keeps you alive. But as I suddenly realized I wasn't eating, does that mean I'm dying like those fire fairies? I suppressed that thought as I followed Jacob to the BBQ.

I decided I would have corn on the cob, Billy had made it especially because I don't eat meat so I should probably make and effort.

I sat down with it on my paper plate looking at it, something was appealing. Very appealing but disgusting at the same time. Trying not to make a spectacle of myself I gave myself a mental pep talk before eating it.

I started eating and as I ate more I got more hungry, it became harder to resist the quarter still left on my plate but the look from Jacob made me eat it.

It surprised me how much I had enjoyed the evening thinking back as I drove home. Despite eating it made things better, I didn't feel as tired and flimsy. But that didn't mean I could drop it, I was finally loosing some weight and didn't want to put it back on because I'd eaten one night.

I managed to avoid everyone as I came home and ran straight upstairs.

I glared at the toilet as I had a shower and put my pajamas on even if I had wanted to it would be too late to purge.

I got into bed and put my iPod in, it was the best way to get me to sleep. I suspected it was because I'd eaten but as I lay in bed it became much easier to get to sleep….

**Oh you lucky things two updates in two days! Guess who managed to get the computer to herself! ME ME ME!**

**Mhmm yeah…. **

**I decided it would be time to focus more on her eating thing so it's a lot more thought, the end of the last chapter was rushed because I was being rushed off the computer. Long story, but yeah….**

**Next chapter I will introduce Jasper and the rest of my story line, its all going to plan and you guys are going to love what I've got in stall for you! **

**Keep those reviews and story alerts coming and thanks so much, I've had more hits then I've ever had for stories. **

**Btw I've had stories on other accounts that I haven't finished because I lost the writing zone, but I won't loose the writing zone for this story till its finished, I have a good feeling about this story! **


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up bright and early. I felt amazing despite the fact it was Monday. I had one of those strange feelings that was telling me that today would be a good day.

In fact, why just today? It has promise to be a good week.

I jumped out of bed and danced over to my wardrobe, mhmm what to wear. I think because I feel good, I should wear something good make a good effort for what was going to be a good day.

I put on a black tank top with a baggy grey jumper over it which I had attached a big black bow broach to with a black bodycon skirt and black tights. I was stuck for choice between my grey Uggs and black ones, in the end I decided black.

I turned towards my mirror. Not only did I feel good, I looked damn fine and I hadn't even put any make-up on. Today will be wonderful I can just tell…

After doing my hair and make-up I picked up my school bag plus keys, purse, phone and iPod before getting out the house as soon as possible. The fact is I could count on one of the parents ruining what could be the start of a lovely week.

I got into my rather shiny Porsche; those birds really have stuck to the part of the muffin bargain… The weather was nice too, despite being February it was bright and the sun shone through the trees but there was still the mighty cold winter edge on the wind.

I got into school earlier than usual so I sat on the bonnet of my car and read my magazine I'd picked up a couple of days ago and hadn't had time to read.

It was a good twenty minutes before any of my friends got there and first to arrive was Lavender.

"Hey Alice!" She skipped over to my car as I slid smoothly off the bonnet.

"Lavender!" I hugged her; I was in a darn good mood.

"Hey, hey why are you so excitable today?" She asked laughing.

"I don't know…" I titled my head "It just feels like a good day you know?" She looked at me blankly.

"No I don't" Then she smiled "But guess what's happening on Saturday night?!?!"

"What?! What's happening?!" I was way more excitable today.

"My mum's letting me have a party!" I squealed and we talked about it all through art and on the way to English.

We filed into our English room chattering about the prospects of her house party. We sat down next to each other at our usual desk in the middle row next to the window on the right hand side of the room.

The teacher proceeded with her lesson as normal, and we carried on talking. As I said I was excitable.

"Lavender, Alice you two are far too talkative today! You're usually talkative but I can't be doing with it and neither can the rest of the class! You have exams coming and all you're doing is talking!" The teacher, Mrs Wood was constantly reminding us of exams.

"Alice, go swap places with Ralph on the other side of the room" I raised an eyebrow and moved. The desk was on the same row but next to the window on the left hand side of the-

WOW. WOW. WOW.

Today was definitely going to be a good day, I had been moved next to a guy I didn't even know came here, but he was, he was…

WOW.

I sat down next to him and caught his name off the front of his book. It said _Jasper Cullen _in swirly hand writing, lovely. I turned to look at him and smiled my oh so magic smile, he smiled back.

Then out of nowhere, bam. I had a dizzy fit, my vision went cloudy and I held the side of the desk to get my balance back so I didn't fall out my chair. It didn't last long, a few seconds at least.

When my vision had cleared my first instinct was to check if anyone had noticed, that meant looking at Jasper. Jeez he is damn fine.

He is buff like Jacob or Emmett; he just has shapely muscles that sculpt the damn fine guy who is looking at me like a crazy person. That's me queue to stop looking I think.

I'm not good with guys, it's a fact.

We got talking and apparently I and my soon to be very good friend Jasper have a lot in common, we both like the following; Harry Potter, Travelling, Art and Stationary.

Yeah that's right, stationary.

**I know I know its short, what can do I'm overly excited because my laptops back. **

**Thankyou to the following; Adoxography Angelus, Calleygirl80, Giddyones, Hajjir'Haggir'Hagrid, Joee1, Kazume suigama, Mulf and Shortstuff1994 who have either put my story on alert or in favourites. **


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up on Friday morning, it was still pitch black outside so I checked my clock. As I learned over to my clock I became very dizzy, just like I had been on Monday in English. This had been going on all week.

05:30

I decided I would stay in bed and think over all that had happened during this wonderful week so far.

Monday:

I was moved next to Jasper and started talking to him; he walked me to my next lesson then came and sat with me, Lavender, Becki and Becki's boyfriend to be.

Tuesday:

I wasn't moved back to my seat in English which made my seat next to Jasper permanent which was fine with Lavender because apparently Ralph was just her kinda guy. Lunchtime was spent with Jasper, Becki, Becki's boyfriend to be, Lavender and Ralph. Jasper walked me to all my lessons.

Wednesday:

The English teacher wasn't in so I, Lavender, Ralph and Jasper talked all lesson about Lavenders party on Saturday night. I had volley ball practise at lunch with Becki where her boyfriend to be, Alex came to watch with Jasper.

Thursday:

Jasper picked me up from school we had another free lesson in English. It was sunny so we sat outside; Jasper gave me his jacket because there was still that nasty cold wind. Jasper dropped me off home.

Such a good week I thought happily to myself.

I hadn't even eaten a lot this week come to think about it, in fact I have hardly been thinking about it all week. Mhmm I wonder….

I got out of bed and walked slowly over to the bathroom. I didn't feel steady on my feet today which was highly unusual. I place both feet on the scales.

Last time I weighed myself on Sunday I was 89lbs.

Today I weighed 87lbs.

I felt a surge of happiness before having my vision clouded by dizziness. I grabbed onto the bath to stop myself from hitting my head on the tiled wall. What's wrong with me?!

I didn't like the idea of being ill, no not nice.

After regaining full vision I thought it might be a sugar rush so I put my dressing gown on and went down to the kitchen. I made pop tarts, they have sugar in so they will do.

I ate one before realizing I really couldn't manage any more the kitchen clock said it was 06:00 anyway so I went upstairs to get ready for a school.

I had a quick shower and blow dried my hair into the natural short curls I replaced my flicking hair style with.

I decided that as far as clothes go today wasn't going to be all out. I didn't feel well so didn't want to stick out.

I put on my ripped skinny jeans, I love ny t-shirt and baggy grey hoodie. I decided my yellow converse would go perfectly. Looking in the mirror I realised I would actually have to work on my face a little more than normal.

When my make-up was done I brushed through my hair and left it wavy with a small yellow bow. I checked the time; I still had a good half an hour before Jasper was going to pick me up.

I decided to paint my nails red while watching breakfast TV, which was a rare occasion because I would be in closeish contact with the family. When my nails were almost dry I was joined by Edward.

"Hey Alice" He said sitting down next to me on the sofa.

"Hey" My voice sounded a little croaky, jeez.

"Breakfast TV? Aren't you going straight to school seen as your ready" He asked as he did his shoe lace.

"I'm not ready; my nails are still drying" I help up my hands "And Jaspers picking me up"

"Oh again?"

"Yes again" I blew on my dry nails as if they were still wet.

"Well I'm off to pick up Bella, cya later Alice"

"Bye"

As soon as he left I whipped out my phone to check for any texts.

Jacob:

Eat.

Well Jacob my dear I have I had a pop tart I thought to myself while I went to wait outside I couldn't be bothered with my house any longer. I wanted to fly free like a bird or some-

Door bell rang.

JASPER.

I moved quickly towards the door which was a big mistake as I was greeted by not only Jasper but a dizzy fit. I held on to the door frame to stay standing while Jasper looked with a strange expression on his face.

"Alice?"

"Mhmm?" I replied still holding on to the door frame for my life.

"What are you…?"

"I'm just abit dizzy today that's all" I beamed up at him; he is over a foot taller than me. I'm 5ft exactly and he is 6ft 2 perfect match really.

He smiled back and we walked down my drive, I still wasn't steady on my feet properly but I don't think he really noticed.

I got into his car, it wasn't nearly as snazzy as mine but it smelled like him so it was nice enough.

"So what do you think we'll be doing in gym class today?" He asked getting into his side.

Damn it! I forgot we had gym, well I hadn't forgotten because I had my kit but in my dizzy form it would be more than humiliating if I fell or worse passed out.

"Urmm, I think we are doing volley ball" I didn't think I knew. The coach had told me after practise.

"Well all I'm saying is I hope I'm on your team" We both laughed.

He talked sweetly to me during the journey to school. I was dreading getting out the car, knowing me I'd probably end up smacking my head off the door frame and end up in A&E before first period.

"Alice are you getting out or staying in my car all day?" Jasper had come round and opened my door, I hadn't even realised "You seem far away today are you ok?" I smiled and nodded.

"So, what are you doing tomorrow?" Jasper asked as we walked through the car park.

"Nothing, yet" I smiled up at him.

"We should do something, go somewhere"

"We should" I smiled up at him. Wow. I shouldn't do that it sends me dizzy, I lost my balance and Jasper ended up grabbing me before I fell into a bush. My head was spinning.

"Alice are you sure you're ok?" His big brown eyes looked into my own. He is actually so attractive its untrue.

"Yeah just" I paused "Just…"

"You obviously were so outrageously excited about doing something tomorrow weren't you?" He laughed.

"Oh yes" I laughed too and he put his arm around me and began walking me to art.

We weren't technically going out yet but he just asked me out so in my mind we are going out and it should be like that in his mind too.

I met Becki and Lavender outside the art room and Jasper left me with them because he had biology back on the other side of school.

As soon as we got into lesson and got started on our canvas's I put my headphones in and started listening to my iPod. I like my iPod its red, limited edition. Not that I care about it being limited edition, I just like the fact it's red.

I avoided talking to Becki and Lavender through that class, they can always tell when there's something wrong with me and seen as I was starting to feel worse and worse as the lesson went on.

I tried thinking of what had made me ill as I walked to English; all I could come up with was eating in the morning. I hadn't eaten breakfast for months, maybe that was it.

I sat down next to Jasper in English as I had since Monday, but this time as I sat down the room began spinning.

The teacher was on a roll throughout talking about the poem we were studying which meant I wouldn't have to write more than notes on the poem.

I had my head resting on one of my hands but as the lesson proceeded the room began to spin more and more, I tuned out the teachers voice and closed my eyes while rubbing my forehead. I was starting to get what would turn into a majorly killer headache.

This week had started off so darn well, but as is my life good things are always ruined. I started thinking about an accumulation of good things that had turned bad in my life when I was woken from my thoughts by a warm hand rubbing my arm.

My eyes snapped open, I realised it had been Jasper. I turned to look at him; his eyes were full of worry. Great, I've successfully worried a Jasper. Go on; give me a badge for it.

He moved a note over to me on the desk which had his perfect hand writing on, it made mine look odd. The note was passed to and from while I tried to ignore the rest of the room spinning and what felt like a drill in my head.

_What's wrong? _

_**Nothing I just have a headache.**_

_As well as you feeling dizzy like you told me this morning?_

_**Yes.**_

_Then it's not nothing is it._

_**I'm fine really it's nothing major I'll live.**_

_Right well if you really don't feel well I could take you home._

After reading that last note from him I just looked at him and smiled.

My next lesson was art again which I sat through just like I had first. The result of my concentration was a half finished canvas, a more intense headache, dizziness and I was starting to feel sick. This had promise to be a horrible day.

**Ok I think this is the longest chapter yet. **

**You guys are actually in for drama drama drama! It kicks off in the next chapter so that should keep you reading. **

**Reviews would be lovely =)**


	10. Chapter 10

I met Jasper outside the art room and we walked to dinner together. I managed not go dizzy until we got into the lunch hall. And Jasper was there to make sure I didn't fall.

"Alice seriously you need to go home you really don't look well" He looked me in my eye and I bit my lip.

"I'm going to get some lunch sit down with Becki and Lavender and I'll get you something"

"Oh its fine I'm really not hungry" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You'll feel better for eating something and I'll get you something small" I nodded and he gave me a little hug before walking off to join the lunch queue. I sat down on our usual table next to the window with Becki and Lavender.

"Alice are you ok? I don't want to sound nasty but you look awful" Lavender said looking at me.

"Its fine I feel it" I put my head in my hands and Lavender hugged me.

"Why don't you go home if you don't feel well"

"I don't know I just don't want to be at home" I paused "Also Jasper said if I was going home he would want to take me"

"Awh how sweet" Becki said half way through chewing her sandwich.

"Well then what's wrong with that?" Lavender asked dismissing Becki's comment with a wave of her hand.

"You'd seriously let the guy your head over heels for watch you puke or something?" I asked raising one of my eyebrows, then stopping again because it made my headache worse.

"True, well all I suggest is get your head down in biology than tell coach you don't feel well, you're her favourite so she won't mind letting you sit out" Lavender said before taking a bite of her bagel.

"Just think, maybe Jasper will sit out with you" Becki whispered as Jasper walked over with his tray we were also joined by Lavenders boyfriend Ralph and Becki's boyfriend to be, Todd.

Jasper placed a pink iced cupcake in front of me with a sweet smile he sat next to me and slink a protective arm round me.

I licked some of the icing off my cupcake; maybe the sugar will do me some good.

Despite still having my hoodie on I couldn't suppress a shiver, this turned Jaspers conversation with Lavender about their history paper to me.

"Sweetie you're really not well are you?" He murmured and rubbed my arm.

I looked at him and I shook my head. Once again I just wanted to sit there and cry. Why oh why do I get myself into these damn situations.

I could see Lavender shiftily listening in. It didn't bother me seen as we are quite close anyway.

"Alice let me take you home I don't like you being here when your obviously not well"

SAVED BY THE BELL.

As soon as it rang I grabbed my bag and walked off faster than I should have done in the direction of the toilets rather than my biology class.

They were empty, just as I knew they would be.

I went into the end cubical and locked the door. I put the lid down on the toilet and brought my knees up to my chest which half soothed my throbbing stomach.

I could feel my warm tears rolling down my cheeks. I could taste them all salty as they ran into my open gasping mouth. I could feel myself loosing it there and then.

I snapped my feet down to the floor and left my cubical I clutched the sink with my pale hands and looked in the mirror.

I looked like micro waved shit.

I could hear that all the kids at school were in there lessons because it didn't sound like a herd of elephants walking down the corridors.

I decided my best plan would be to catch a taxi home. So I left the toilets and came face to face with a worried looking Jasper.

"Alice"

"Jasper" Wow. Wow. Wow. A sore throat as well? Today was turning into the best day of my life. Not.

"Please tell me your not about to go to lesson?" He asked as he found my hand in my tear soaked hoodie sleeve.

Ok my hearts beating like hell. Lord I beg you on top of this please, oh please don't let me have a heart attack or something!

"No I was going to try and catch a taxi home" I said looking at the floor rather than his rather attractive face.

"I'll take you I told you this morning I just want to make sure your ok" He paused and lifted me chin with his pinky finger so I was looking at him "I care about you a lot. You know that right?"

I nodded and he gave me a big hug. It felt like he had heated up my insides. The part of me that normally felt empty and lifeless was there, it was whole again like it hadn't been for years.

"Right let's get you home" He put his arm round me and after explaining to the school office we left for my house.

He made sure I got into his car ok. Which was humiliating but compared to him I'm like a tiny doll so it wouldn't have looked that bad. I just hope it didn't.

"How do you feel?" He asked turning to me as he got in the driving seat.

"I don't know" I mumbled as I rubbed my forehead.

"Helpful as ever Alice but just tell me where it hurts" I laughed it sounded so cheesy "Alice?"

"Do you know how cheesy that sounds?" I laughed again.

"Well seen as I am the cheese master" He smiled "Will you tell me"

"My head hurts, I feel really dizzy and sick" He nodded.

"I won't drive fast then I don't want you to hurl pink icing on my leather interior" I smiled and he drove, slowly to the house.

He murmured softly to me on the way about the canvas I was doing in art.

"What's your theme?" He asked.

"Self image I've been waiting for ages to do it but Mrs Von, Von" I took a deep breath "Mrs art teacher whos name I can never pronounce properly left it for our finals because she said it's the most interesting and more fun" He smiled.

"So what are you painting?"

"Me holding a-"I blushed "A smashed gold hand mirror" He raised an eyebrow.

"And why might that be?"

"Its self image"

"And you feel that way about your appearance?" I just blushed at his question as we pulled up outside my house "You shouldn't, your gorgeous" He was concentrating more on me then pulling up smoothly and the car jolted slightly sending my vision cloudy and making my head and stomach spin.

"Owh, are you ok?" He touched my cheek as I rubbed just above my eyebrow.

"Yeah" I smiled not wanting to worry him further "Let's just get inside yeah?" He nodded and helped me out of the car while I went all dizzy.

"Let's get you inside" He murmured as I passed him my keys and he unlocked my door.

One thing I can say about my house, too many stairs. I did not want to be carried but didn't want to bare the embarrassment of walking up them like a drunk. While trying to decide which one I was going to choose Jasper swept me off my feel …or maybe not as gracefully as that but picked me up and carried me.

I decided that rather than complaining I would make the most of it and nestled into his shoulder. He actually smells divine.

**Ok, ok so no drama yet but the next chapter will be short and have a little fluff, drama and a cliff hanger. Which will be up in the next well hour probably. **


	11. Chapter 11

Jasper sat me down softly on the bed and I rested my head on his shoulder and he softly removed my Converse.

"You should really try putting these things through the washer sometime" I laughed into his shoulder and pushed myself up so I was standing. Jasper kept a tight grip on my arm for support.

I walked over to my wardrobe and got out my grey sweats, big blue hoodie and blue bed socks.

"Give me a minute ok?" I asked unsteadily and gestured to the bathroom.

"Yeah but if you need any help" I laughed "No no not like that!" He laughed too.

"I know what you mean but I'll be fine" I hope.

I was as quick as I could be, although I like Jasper I'm still as self conscious as ever of my body. After changing I left my jeans and grey hoodie in a pile in my bathroom and clicked open the bathroom door.

Then for what felt like the millionth time that day my eyes started to cloud and my head began to spin. I grabbed onto the door for support before Jasper moved forward and swept me off my feet.

I felt hot tears running down my face again and the salty taste only tears could make in my mouth as I gasped for air. I could hear Jaspers panicky breathing as he put me in my bed under my duvet then sat on the bed next to put and put and arm round me.

"Alice shhh don't cry" He moved a stray piece of hair out my face and rubbed my arm "You'll get better"

I wish he knew what he was talking about. Because I couldn't get better I knew partly why I was ill and that couldn't be solved. It just couldn't and I couldn't tell him. Or not yet anyway.

"I don't know what's wrong with me" I sobbed.

"Shhh, do you have any painkillers or something" He asked looking round my room. I pointed to my bed side table.

"Top draw" He nodded and pulled out a small box of them "There's a glass in my bathroom" He nodded again and headed towards the bathroom.

I heard the gush of my tap and then he came back in with a glass of water in one hand and the box of tablets in the other and a tissue in between his lips. He then placed the water on my bed side table and took the tissue out his mouth.

"I ran out of hands" I smiled and he wiped away my tears then put the tissue over my nose "Blow" I did what he said.

"Your good at this aren't you?" I laughed as he sat back where he had before.

"Well I've never had much practise at looking after people I just assumed this was how it was done" He smiled "Now except that icing have you had anything to eat today?"

"I had a pop tart" I felt disgusting I'd rather have said no I haven't.

"Mhmm, well was that before or after you started to feel ill?" I thought about that for am minute.

"Before, it was in the morning I just felt abit dizzy" He nodded again then sighed.

"You need to eat something before you take these ok so I'll go and make you something" He paused "Everyone has tins of soup right?" I laughed.

"Yepp but make sure the one you get is suitable for vegetarians"

"Ok, any preference?" I shook my head and as he got up I slid the box of tablets into the deep pocket on in my sweats. My plans were awful.

It didn't take him long to heat up the soup and bring it up so I didn't have long enough to get to sleep and seen as I can't pretend to be asleep I lay there wrapped up warm until he came up with a steaming bowl of tomato soup.

"Room service and everything" He said with a smile "Now do I have to spoon feed you or can you hold the spoon yourself?" Asked with a smile.

"I think I could manage holding the spoon myself" I laughed.

He placed the tray down on my knee and the hot steam made my head swirl and I blinked rapidly regain my composure. I looked at the bowl and it suddenly turned 1000 times bigger than it was when he first brought it in. My stomach churned, it wasn't hunger I genuinely didn't feel well. I knew either from whatever bug I had or my spare toothbrush this soup would end up being flushed down my toilet.

I sat talking with Jasper as I tried my hardest to look normal as I put small spoonfuls of the soup in my mouth. After I'd had half I turned my big puppy dog eyes to Jasper just like me and Jacob use to do when we were little and wanted to play longer.

"Do I have to eat any more because I really don't feel like hurling this back up"

"No I think that's fine" He looked round where we were sat in the middle of my bed I suspect he was looking for the box of tablets "Do you know where I put the…?"

"I don't know but there are some more in the kitchen, the one next to where you found the soup" He nodded and as soon as he left the room I moved the tray and leaped out of bed, shouldn't have done that but what the hey I have a job to do.

I went into my bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet with my spare toothbrush and stuck it down my throat, just as I heard my bedroom door re-open.

No no no no!

I threw up violently in my panic with the toothbrush still in my hand with my vomit on the end.

"Alice?"

**DON'T YOU HATE ME FOR THAT?**

**Ahaa, well you're going to have to wait till tomorrow my darlings =p **

**Thanks so much to you guys who have put the story on alert and in your favourites and a big thankyou to those of you who have reviewed. **

**I like reviews because I really like reading feedback, so if you guys could review for me I would love you even more XD**


	12. Chapter 12

He didn't flip out. He tugged the toothbrush out my tightly closed hand and dropped it in the sink; he rubbed my back and got me a glass of water. I swirled a mouthful of water round my mouth before spitting it into the toilet and flushing.

I sat with my back against the bath and he sat next to me. He didn't say anything for a while, and then he spoke quietly.

"How long have you…?" I took a small gulp of air.

"A few months" My head was still spinning but I think Jasper had forgotten I was ill; my stomach was churning worse than ever.

"How many is a few?" His voice didn't sound cold, more soft and worried.

"Four or five" I tried to control the funny coloured circles which were dancing around making my vision blurred.

"Why?" His voice nearly broke "Why would you do this to yourself?"

"I-"My voice was starting to break. I gulped trying to take control "I was upset and my parents they" I gulped "There swingers and Emmett's moved and I hardly see him and" I swallowed more calmly "Edwards always with Bella"

He didn't say anything, I thought some more.

"I wanted to have control over something, everything was changing and I couldn't control that" My breaths came in small gasps now "And I wanted someone to notice me, I wanted someone to show me they cared" I could feel a hot angry tear coming down the side of me face "And no one did. No one bothered to talk to be about it until" I thought about Jacob "Until last weekend. And that wasn't even proper and wasn't even any family" I gasped in air trying to regain composer.

"Alice" Jasper turned to me "I care"

He held me for what felt like years but in reality were only a few minutes.

"Come on you should take those tablets and get some sleep" He scooped me up and carried me to my bed and tucked me in before handing me two tablets which I then broke in half and swallowed.

He held me as I fell asleep talking to me lightly about what I'd said before.

"Promise me something Alice" I nodded.

"I'd promise you anything"

"Promise me you'll always speak to me when you're not happy, promise me" There was a sound of urgency in his voice, maybe it was because I was on the verge of sleep.

"I promise you" I thought for a second "And do you know why I promise you?"

"No" He said curiously.

"Because I think I love you"

"I think I love you too" He whispered in my ear.

Everything went black.

What felt like hours later I opened my heavy eyelids.

I could still feel Jaspers arm round me even though he wasn't under the covers. But I could here two voices.

Jaspers and Edwards? I tried to tune my hearing in to what they were saying; I was facing the other side so it didn't matter.

"She is ok though right?" Edwards's voice sounded worried.

"Yeah I think she just needed to sleep it off" Jasper said softly.

"Thanks so much for bringing her home, I should have done it" He sighed "I should have been there for her"

Jasper didn't say anything. Nothing about before.

"So you and Alice are kinda together now right?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I think" Jasper said soft as ever.

"So you know about our parents and all that?"

"Yeah I think about all that"

"Right well with that knowledge and you understanding how much they don't care about any of us you'll see why I think it would be a bad idea for Alice to be here when they get back. I'm going out with Bella tonight, pre payed tickets to a show"

"Well seen as me and Alice are kinda together, I could take her to mine" He paused "I think that might be a good idea because my father's a doctor and if she still isn't well I can get him to take a look at her"

"Good thinking as long as that's ok with you then I think it's a good idea, I trust you with her you know"

"Thanks" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"My parents will be back in about an hour so between now and then I would say it's best to wake her and pack a bag or something for her to stay, if it's ok for her to stay at hers" He paused "If it's not though she has a close friend called Jacob who is probably dying to meet you and he lives on the Res and his dad goes on fishing weekends almost every week so you could stay there"

"Its fine with me for Alice to stay at mine, my parents is going on holiday later on this evening so it will be quiet"

"Ok, but when you wake her will you let me know I want to talk to her"

"Yeah sure"

"Thanks" I heard the door click shut.

I decided to leave it a good few minutes before I magically woke up.

I turned over, still with closed eyes and stretched my arm out so my fingers were almost touching Jaspers, he softly tickled my fingers and I could feel him learn closed to me.

"Wake up sleeping beauty" I used my amazing acting skills to make it look like I was just waking up.

"Mhmm?" I mumbled and opened my eyes to look up into his big eyes.

He explained what I had already heard between him and my brother, most of it word for word. He didn't twist words, I like that.

"You'd be ok with staying at mine right?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah yeah it will be great" I smiled.

"Great" He said kissing my head, I sat up slowly not wanting to jolt anything when I was greeted with the most unwelcome wave of sickness that washed through me.

"How do you feel?" Jasper asked looking at my face with concern all over his.

"Awful" I murmured and burrowed my head into his arm.

"Right well I'll get this bag packed for you and then we can get you to mine and my father can take a look at you, he's a really good doctor" He smiled. I just nodded and gave him instruction on what to pack.

"Ok, I've got everything right?" He asked.

"I think so" I smiled, bless him.

"Your brother wanted to see you before you left by the way"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I don't know"

"Edward?" I shouted, it didn't take him long to come in.

"Alice are you ok?" Edward asked rushing over "You look awful" He shot a glance at Jasper "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you today when you weren't well, especially after the conversation with Emmett last week"

"Edward its fine" I smiled at him "You obviously care because you wouldn't have come and said this if you didn't" He smiled and ruffled my hair before turning to leave. He said something low to Jasper and he gave him a short nod.

"Right let's find you some foot wear and get you to the Cullen house" Jasper smiled.

I ended up wearing my high top Nikes that Emmett got me randomly a few months ago, they were loose so fitted with my bed socks on.

I stood up and found myself in the midst of dizziness and nausea.

"Jasper" I said weakly running to the bathroom.

He's such a sweetie; he held my hair back and rubbed my back.

"I think you should pack some hair bobbles"

**Obviously I couldn't leave you on that ending for so long could I! **

**Reviews please =)**

**x**


	13. Chapter 13

The drive to Jaspers wasn't particularly long but it felt a lot longer when you were spending it trying not to hurl on Jaspers leather interior. I sat tucked up in a ball as his car trundled along.

"How do you feel?" Jasper asked shooting me a sideways glance.

"Same as I did before" Which was awful.

"We'll get you better soon" Jasper reassured me as he rubbed my arm.

I haven't a clue if I'd blackout or fallen asleep but when I opened my eyes it was sunset, usually the time I left for the Rez to meet up with Seth and Jacob. I suddenly wanted to get up and drive away to meet them, play Scrabble and just be normal for a while.

People knew now though, they knew what I'd been doing. Jasper knew, Jacob knew which means Seth knew. They'd be watching when I ate, and when I didn't. Jacob would make sure Emmett knew, and then Edward would know too. Seth would tell Becki, she would tell well…. Everyone I suppose.

I'd kept it quiet for a reason because when people find out you can't help but talk about it and the last thing everyone wants is a friend who can't stop talking about what Mr Scales say and the voice in the back of their head. All people want is to be normal and have a good time. Was that too much to ask?

Coming to the realisation that I was now awake I began trying to figure out where I was. It was a bed, most definitely, perhaps a sofa. Never the less it was comfy as hell. I'm sure I'd never been here before.

Then when I started to feel my head banging, stomach churning and throat hurting I remembered everything.

I suppose I must be in Jasper bed then …yay?

I squeezed into a tight little ball as I heard the door of the room swing open.

"Alice?" Jasper whispered.

"Mhmm?" I couldn't be bothered thinking of a reply so the mumble was quite fitting.

"My parents left about half an hour ago but I ask about what you had and he said its just a bug and will be gone by Tuseday"

"Good" I croaked.

Although Jaspers bed was mightily comfy I didn't really want to stay here. He sat down on the bed next to me and I rolled over to look at him, ignoring my churning stomach.

"Something doesn't feel right" I said thinking aloud.

"Like what?" Jasper said, cocking his head with a small smile.

"What day is it?" I asked suspiciously.

"Friday" His smile was gone now; he probably thinks I'm some crazy lady or something…

"Well, on a usual Friday night I go out to Jacobs or Seth's" I paused thinking "You'll have to meet them soon" I was thinking about how Jacob and Seth would take Jasper hmm…

"Jasper" I asked tentatively.

"Yes" He gave me a sly look "What do you want" I giggled which resulted in a dizzy spell, well done me…

"Can we go and stay at the Rez this weekend with Jacob and everyone?" I thought for a second "They'll make me feel better" I smiled at him.

"If" He looked at me straight in the eye "And only if you eat something so you can take some tablets or something"

I thought for a minute because I knew Jacob would make me eat anyway and I wouldn't even get to see Jacob if I didn't eat. I also wanted some tablets for this bug or whatever it was that I had.

"Ok" He kissed the top of my head and disappeared to get me something to eat and some tablets.

I decided to check my phone; god knows how many messages I have…

Becki: 3

Lavender: 7

Jacob: 4

Seth: 2

I love how persistent my friends are…

The ones off Becki and Lavender were asking if I'd gone home, if I was with Jasper and if I was ok. The ones from Seth were asking what I was doing in the evening and if I was ok because he knows I always text back. Then the first few from Jacob were like Seth's then he was saying he found out of Lavender and Becki that I was ill and what was going on.

I sighed, the best way to solve this would be to phone, but I doubt phoning with a sore throat would be a good idea…

I pondered on what I was going to do while taking in my surroundings. Jaspers bedroom.

The walls were cream with a gold skirting board and a beautiful floor boards. The bed I was lying in had a big brown leather headboard and the sheets were cream like the walls. All the other furniture matched and was a nice deep shade of brown wood.

Jasper walked backwards into the room, he held a tray in his hands. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw what he had brought me.

"All that time and you've made me top tarts?!" I giggled croakily.

"Well I was thinking about what you'd like and the only food I've ever heard about you eating was pop tarts" He smiled sweetly.

"You think too much" I murmured as my phoned beeped again.

Jacob:

Alice I'm really starting to worry now, if you don't text me back me and Seth are coming to find you! We aren't joking either…. X

I sighed; they are far too protective brother sometimes.

"You should phone them" Jasper said, he must have read the text over my shoulder as he sat down on the bed next to me.

The pop tarts were making my stomach churn worse than ever but I was determined to go see Seth and Jacob so I was going to eat them.

I ate slowly not wanting to hurl again in front of Jasper, there had been far, far, far too much of that today. After I finished the first pop tart I remembered about the text from Jacob. I put my hand over my mouth, if they had come to find me…

"Alice?" Jaspers voice sounded worried and far away "Alice? Are you ok?" I nodded.

"Jasper I need to phone Jacob…" I had started dialling his number before I had finished my sentence.

He picked up after the 3rd ring.

"Alice?! Are you ok? Where are you?"

"Calm Jacob, calm! I'm fine …Well no I'm not I'm ill but it's ok. No need to worry"

"Are you on your own?" I heard Seth mutter something in the background "Are you with something?"

"Yes, I with" I looked up at Jasper and smiled "I'm with Jasper"

"Oh" He stopped talking for a minute and I bit my lip "Are you at Jaspers or at yours?"

"Jaspers but I was saying before with it being Friday and everything it didn't feel right not being at the Rez" I looked at Jasper again who nodded with an encouraging smile "So if it's ok with you we were going to come over after I've eaten and had my tablets"

"Great!" He sounded happy now rather than worried and confused "Make sure you eat and bring your tablets with you"

"I will I will"

"Do you and Jasper want to stay here?"

"If you don't mind" I laughed.

"Of course not and we can be your nurses" We both laughed.

"Well nurse Jacob I have to eat my pop tart now so I'll see you in 45 minutes or something"

"Wonderful, cya!"

Just speaking to Jacob and knowing I was going out made me feel a gazillion times better.

I turned to Jasper as I put the phone down next to me and he handed me the second pop tart, while eating it I had a horrible feeling that I was eating way too fast. I blame being over excited and it's uncountable the amount of times I've puked with excitement so I should have been expecting it.

I was almost finished my second pop tart and was in mid conversation with Jasper when the horrible wave of nausea engulfed me once again.

I put one hand over my mouth, jumped out of Jaspers bed and ran to his on suite. I didn't have much time to inspect it as I hurled into Jaspers toilet. I never, ever want to eat pop tarts again.

When I'd sorted myself with more than a little help from Jasper I got back into bed.

"Alice, I know you really want to see Jacob and Seth but you're really not well" He murmured as he put his arm round me.

"I just really want to see them" I was on the verge of tears, can I seriously just not be ill. Is it really that difficult for once just to get what I darn want?!

"I know I know" He said rubbing my arm "Well why don't you just have these two tablets then we can go and see them?" I nodded into his shoulder.

**I know, I know it's been a while.**

**What can I say, I've been busy and out a lot. **

**You actually know you want to give me a lil review to make me smile XD**


	14. Chapter 14

"Jasper I can't swallow these tablets!" I coughed as the tablet I'd spent the last few minutes trying to swallow popped out my mouth into my hand.

"Why don't we try breaking them in half…" He went to get the tablet out my hand.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you"

"Oh yeah, Alice spit" He laughed.

Even though it hurt like hell I managed to swallow the two tablets broken in half. That meant four swallows. I swear I could taste blood in the back of my throat like the rough broken edges of the tablets had cut and scratched the back of my throat.

I lay back onto the pillows of Jaspers bed. Such a comfy bed…

"Alice you know you'll be late meeting Jacob and Seth if we don't get a move on…"

"Well you know, now I'm here in your darn comfy bed with you for company I don't know if I really want to go" I thought about it "Mhmm, I'll phone them now"

It didn't take more than an extension of the truth to convince Jacob and Seth that I was far too ill to travel all the way to La Push. I just said I couldn't stop getting sick and didn't want to hurl on Jaspers leather interior.

"So have those tablets worked?" Jasper asked concerned as all I'd done since hanging up with curl up and close my eyes.

"Yeah I think they have, I'm just trying not to move so that if they haven't I won't know about it" He chuckled and stroked my hair.

"So when are your parents coming back from their holiday?" I most definitely couldn't still be here when they came back. I didn't want to meet them yet.

"Wednesday" He paused "But they stay longer sometimes" His voice didn't sound too happy.

I turned over and looked at him.

"And you're ok with being home alone?" I asked while playing with his free hand that rested on the space between us.

"I'm not bothered really, I mean, well I quite like having the house to myself" I felt my neck almost snap up so I was looking him right in the eyes.

"And why do you like being at home on your own?" I asked, I was asking because I liked being home on my own too and it would be interesting to see if it was for the same reasons.

"I just feel alone but in a good way, you know what I mean?" He asked.

"I know exactly what you mean" I said chewing my lip "I get scared you know"

"Of what?" I chewed my lip abit more not sure if I would regret having what would turn into a heart to heart with him.

"I get scared that I'll start to be alone more than I'm with people and socialising. Then I get scared that I'll suddenly become far too alone and then-"I looked up at him "Then I'll be just alone and I won't like it" My lip trembled so I chewed it some more.

"Come here" He said wrapping his arms round me "You're a little doll you know"

I looked at him questionably.

"You're so tiny, like a doll but not a rag doll or a plastic doll. Your just like a china doll, gorgeous but fragile" I knew what he meant, I knew exactly what he meant. It was just a shame I couldn't see it like that myself.

I lay my head on his chest as he played with my hair again.

"I know I haven't known you long but, mhmm I don't know it feels like I've known you ages" I said thinking and talking at the same time.

"I know what you mean" He said, it sounded like he was doing the same as me.

"And that Jasper dear is one of the reasons I think you're so lovely" He chuckled.

"You are actually a little doll aren't you?" I smiled and shook my head.

"My head isn't hollow" I pointed out.

"You know what I meant" He laughed.

"Mhmm I do know what you meant"

"Your also far my complicated then you seem you know" He said as he tightened his grip around me, it didn't hurt at all it was tight but gentle. I felt so safe.

It reminded me of when I was a little girl and my dad use to hold my hand, this was back in the days before he was a swinger and when he him and my mother still showed me lots of love and attention.

It was when I still called my dad daddy and hated saying dad because it's what older kids would say, grown up kids.

When we walked and went shopping he use to hold my hand and as I started to get more insecure and they started paying me less attention I use to make him hold my hand tighter because it took a lot more effort to make me feel safe.

I will never forget the day when I asked him to hold my hand tighter and say "I'm not holding your hand tighter so I can either hold your hand like normal or not at all" The memory hurt, it was probably the first of many memories I have of being pushed away from them, my parents, my mummy and daddy.

That particular memory had me blinking back tears as I explained it to Jasper.

"Well, I'll always hold you as tight as you need me too" He gave me a warm smile "Even if it feels like hugging a bag of bones" I smiled back at him.

"You know what Jasper"

"What?" He titled his head.

"I'm most definitely sure I love you"

"That's good because I most definitely love you too"

**Fwaha, cheese right? **

**Well cheese or no cheese it's what you're getting. **

**Please review tell me what you think, the memory? Not going to La Push? JUST TELL ME IN A REVIEW YOU LITTLE DARLINGS.**


	15. Chapter 15

I spent most of the weekend recovering at Jasper's; I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to speak to my parents, or Edward.

On Sunday evening I got Jasper to drop me off at the end of my street so my parents wouldn't see me getting out of Jasper's car… They thought I was at Jacobs and Jacob always drops me off at the end of the road.

I didn't have my keys so I had to ring the bell. Fact is no one ever answers my door so I was left waiting for a good ten minutes before I decided enough was enough.

I phoned the house phone. It's strange standing on the outside of your own house listening to your house phone ring…

"Hello" Edward answered the phone.

"Open the fucking door" I wasn't happy, I'd been ill all weekend he could have at least had the decency to open the door for me.

"Oh right yeah…." He hung up and the door opened.

"Evening" He said looking me up and down.

"Yes, I looked like a dog" I muttered entering my house.

"Are mum and dad in?" I whispered while my eyes skimmed the hall for evidence like my mother's purple purse or my dad's raincoat he insisted on wearing everywhere.

What kind of swinger wears a rain coat? Oh wait what am I talking about I forgot the good 'ol cagoule was hitting the runway this season….

"No they went out about half an hour ago" I raised an eyebrow.

"On a Sunday? How very bad ass of them"

"Indeed" He paused "So you're ok now right?" I nodded.

"I'm just fine thanks but I seriously need a shower, so excused me" He moved out the way and I left him standing at the bottom of the stairs. Ha.

I decided I would have a shower then run myself a bath.

I hadn't had a shower for ages, at Jaspers I was too ill go get out of bed so I didn't bother asking for a shower.

I liked to have a shower before I had a bath, so that all the dead skin and dirt comes off in the shower meaning you can have a bath without feeling like your lying in a pool of your own filth…

The warm water felt so good on my skin, I just stood letting myself enjoy the water pouring down on my for a few minutes then washed my hair and shaved my legs. I then got out the shower and put my dressing gown on as I ran a bubble bath.

As the water gushed into the bath I thought about my weekend.

It had most definitely been, eventful. But not in the way I wished it had been.

I had got to know Jasper better, and we are kinda together but I decided I would sort that kinda into a definitely after my bath.

While getting to know Jasper I had found out more things that we had in common as well as Harry Potter, Art, Travelling and Stationary we both also liked the Ocean, Candles, Photography and just like me he was keen on reading.

I slipped into my bath smoothly not wanting to disturb my thoughts of Jasper by splashing water everywhere and ruining my perfectly tidy bathroom.

While we were talking about the ocean we had started to talk about travelling and apparently his family had a-

So much for not ruining my thoughts, so much for that! It's easily distracted me. This means I obviously can't just have a pleasant session of thoughts without it being ruined by something.

Something had caught my eye, just one little thing by my window. One object that could ruin my happiness and contentment with just one glance.

The scales.

I wanted to stand on them; I wanted to feel the cold plastic with its texture of tiny squares on the bottom of my feet. I wanted to see the white background and clear black numbers change to grey as they spun round. I wanted to see a number, a number lower than last time lower then 87. But I wouldn't which was why I couldn't pull myself out the bath and stand on them.

I tried to ignore them, I turned to face my tiled wall but I could feel them burning into my bare back like two lasers. It would only be a matter of time before I stood on them, I couldn't keep this up.

I decided that I would stand on them; I would get that rush that I craved so badly. But first I would have to give myself a pep talk just encase they didn't say what I wanted them to.

Ok, so you're going to stand on the them, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you weigh more then you did the last time you checked that means you're just going to have to not eat till you lose the weight you need to. If you weigh less then well done, but don't start thinking you can slack off and eat.

I got out the bath and dried myself off before placing two feet squarely on the scales.

89lbs.

I stepped off the scales and pulled on my pyjamas, and then I left the bathroom and packed my bag for school. The entire time keeping my mind blank, not letting any thoughts through.

It felt like eternity before I turned out the light and flopped into bed.

Jasper had kept me well fed while I'd stayed at his, I must have just not realised exactly what I was eating while I was there. I would have been too busy talking to him…

How could I have let this happen? How could I let myself slip like that?

I felt a hot salty tear slide down my face; I turned over and curled up into a little ball as the tears came faster and faster.

I knew what I had to do, and I was going to do it and be nice and thin so Jasper could have a beautiful girlfriend to love.

Rather than a fat ugly one like I was at the moment.

Jasper knew what I'd told him, but I had been plain sailing at that point, puking what I'd eaten because no one would be around. It had been easy, but I knew I could play it hard I knew what to do.

And I could also get a thrill out of it this way; it was far more bad ass…

As the night went on I hatched my plan, it was in my head all planned and ready I just needed to put it into action. And when I put it into action, I would be thin. So there, bobs your uncle I'd get to be thin, Jasper would get a beautiful girlfriend and everything would be fine and dandy.

Problem solved.

**It's taken me a while to write this because it wasn't really planned in advance like the others have been but the next few have been. So yeah they will be interesting… **

**Also another thing I'd just like to add. I know lots of people suffering from eating disorders look for thinspiration through photos and all that stuff, but I also know people read stories like these for thinspiration and I would hate anybody to take ideas from this and use them in everyday life to get themselves thin.**

**I've been there and done that and it really doesn't pay off. You don't get the desired result, just a really messed up body and mind. **

**Review if you like pandas XD**


	16. Chapter 16

The morning had been a blur because I'd woken up late. It always seems to make the morning go a lot quicker. Maybe because I'm awake for less time or maybe because I'm doing everything more quickly.

I found myself sat at lunch with Lavender while waiting for Jasper and Ralph to get lunch. I knew Jasper was going to bring me something. Normally that would have bothered me to the max, but not today seen as I had my new bad ass plan.

"So Alice, spill" I looked at Lavender blankly "Oh come on! I know you spent the entire weekend at Jaspers" She gave me a look as to say _what did you and Jasper do in his bed._

"Well, I hurled in his bathroom multiple times and dribbled on his bed sheets" I took a sip out of my bottle of water as Lavender gave be a dumb look.

"Alice, just shhh" She moved closer "Did he do the cute guy thing where they look after you and get all concerned" I laughed at that but thinking about it further I realised that he had. Which made what I was going to have to do to be thin even harder.

"He did, it was quite adorable. It was like even when I was feeling a bit better we just sat in his bed and well he didn't do anything more than sorta, well cuddly" I hated the word cuddly.

"Awh! Alikins that's adorable!"

We giggled and awh'd at Jasper until him and Ralph came along with dinner.

Jasper sat down next to me and slipped a plate in front of me. I noted what everyone else was eating before paying mine much attention. Jasper had chips with red source; Ralph had curry and rice while Lavender had chicken and salad.

I looked down at my own plate then. Jasper had got me a small pasta salad and a cupcake. I gazed down at them; the pasta salad didn't look so appetizing where as the cupcake was almost squealing my name.

The look that Jasper gave me felt like it shot through me, I knew he wanted me to eat something so I decided I would eat the cupcake, but my first hurdle to tackle would be the pasta salad.

I had three options.

The first was to hide bits of it in the plastic food bag I had in my pocket, everyone was talking and distracted enough not to notice.

The second plan was to chew then spit it into the spare plastic water bottle I'd brought with me. It was possibly because you couldn't see through the plastic it was thick dark purple plastic.

The last one would be to nibble at the pasta but claim it was making me not feel well. That probably wouldn't work or would result in Jasper taking me home again. And however nice that sounded, I didn't want the novelty to wear off.

I decided option two would be the best idea, nobody noticed that I took a "sip" between each mouthful of pasta. Not that they would Becki had joined us and was talking and laughing lively, no one notices me when she's around because she takes centre stage…

When I'd "eaten" a three quarters of the pasta I pushed it aside and happily licked the icing off the cupcake. And to my surprise not everyone's attention had been on Becki.

"You are changing your ways aren't you?" Jasper murmured into my ear as my stomach tightened into a not very happy knot.

"Yes, I am" It wasn't a lie; it was just stretching the truth. I mean I was changing just not in the ways I suspect Jasper would have wanted me to…

I smiled at him sweetly and he kissed me on the cheek before getting back to the history discussion he was having with Lavender.

I drifted through lunch hardly putting any input into the conversations going on at the table I was sat on. My thoughts strayed to more important things like the homework I had to complete that evening and what my plans would be for the weekend.

I knew Emmett was coming over on Saturday night so we would probably go to the cinema with some of Emmett's old school friends and some of my friends. This still left plans for Friday…

**You know this story has got so many hits.**

**It makes me wonder why I only get 1 or 2 reviews for each chapter.**

**Maybe if you reviewed I might make an effort to upload.**

**:l**


	17. Chapter 17

I woke up bright and early on Friday and hoped to God that it wouldn't be a replay of the previous Friday so that I didn't have to hurl in front of my boyfriend or eat excessive amounts of soup to please him.

I got out of bed happily and just pulled on a little red dress with a black cardigan, black tights and little black canvas pumps because they were darn comfy. I puffed my hair up with a bit of hair spray and wore my usual make-up.

Today felt like your average Friday. Not spectacular, not completely bobbins. You know, just average.

And being average an average Friday means we'll get out of last class early to get home and get ready to go out to Jacobs to sit around and play board games or watch a movie or two. Then I'd stay over and leave early then everyone else to avoid breakfast, but that was budging into the more exciting and more varied Saturday.

But Friday was living up to its average as we approached the cafeteria. We sat at our usual table which looked unusually clean for once, which made me wonder how normal this Friday was going to be.

Jasper sat down next to me a few minute later with just a cupcake today, mhmm a different Friday? ME NO LIKEY!

I looked up at him questioningly. It wouldn't be a lack of money because his dad was a doctor I remembered him from him looking at my broken wrist as a child, Mr. Carlisle Cullen and he earned a lot of money…

And his mother Esme, well I don't know what she does but just his dad's income could make you darn rich…

"It's a treat because you've eaten at least one proper meal a day all week" He whispered "Now eat your cupcake" He smiled.

I felt a pang of guilt start to creep about in the pit of my stomach which was starting to more than creep and was doing damn summersaults! All Jasper was trying to do was help me because he wanted me to be ok and all I could think about was getting back down to 87lbs.

I was selfish. I horrible selfish, self centred bitch and I knew it.

And what made that worse was despite knowing it, and knowing it was true it didn't sound bad. As I looked round the hall at the other girls in my year…

Ellie Hall, sure in school she sucked up to teachers without it looking fake and in school she didn't wear make-up or act nasty but out of school? Jeez she was a bitch and a half, orange make up to the max and out all the time in tiny dresses and heels that you could spear a kebab on…

Tracey Carmichael, loud in your face with no consideration to anyone else. She said what she liked and did what she liked no matter what. She was failing most of her lessons but it was that "charm" that hadn't got her chucked out yet. She had everyone under her little finger…

And these girls were a million times worse than me but I knew I couldn't carry on because, well it wouldn't make me a nice person. Not in the end because all I wanted was Jasper and my close friends and what family I had left.

I ate my cupcake trying not to let the shock tear of realisation stream down my cheek while Jasper sat next to me joking with Lavender about Slush Puppy's or something…

"Oh come on you have to be kidding Jasper! Alice tell him" I looked up straight away when I heard my name and looked towards the direction it was coming from.

Lavender.

"Tell Jasper that you can't mix red and blue slushy's" She said outraged.

"Jasper you can't mix red and blue Slush" I looked back down at my cupcake wrapper; I really needed to pull my head off empty it of all the crap that was there and screw it back on.

"Ali" I felt Jaspers arm round my waist. My thin waist? Or was it a fat waist? I felt myself shift "What's wrong" He murmured in my ear.

I and Jasper hadn't talked properly for a while, it wasn't that we were going off each other, in fact the opposite I was still as crazy for him as I'd been when I first saw him…

"I need to speak to you later yeah?" I looked up at him his face slightly worried,

"Alice what have you-"

"Shhh" I raised a finger to his mouth because I had realised that the attention from the group table had started to turn to us.

"Alice what's your favourite Slushy red or blue?" He asked with a small smile as he saved the moment rapidly.

"Blue all the way" I giggled and enjoyed the rest of my lunch time.

True to my word I made Jasper follow me to my house in his car with me driving in front. Half way to mine I felt like taking a detour and then get him lost and drive off home with an evil smile. But then I remembered I was driving a bright yellow Porsche so wouldn't be able to lose him…

I had butterflies jumping around my stomach as a bit my lip.

I didn't know what to say to him, it wouldn't be awkward it would just be difficult because I had to tell him that all the effort he had put in over the week to get me to eat had been for nothing because I was a scheming little bitch…

And what then? What if that pissed him off so much he left me and didn't want anything to do with me and what I… and what if…

My mind was racing miles ahead of my driving as a pulled into my drive. Jasper parked on the curb.

I turned and smiled at him as I got out my car and he smiled back. He walked towards me and took my hand in his and I opened my door.

Something didn't feel right, both my mum's purple purse and my dad's fashion statement of a rain coat were in the hall.

I clutched Jaspers hand as I realised it wasn't just their stuff…

There was another purse, it was gold and quite pretty if it hadn't belonged to who I knew it must have belonged to because it most definitely wasn't my mum's …it was far to pretty to be chosen by her.

And then there was a leather jacket next to the gold purse. It was a guys jacket, like the sort of biker thing.

I knew who these possessions belonged to and I could feel my heart beating faster and faster and my breathing starting to push down on the speed pedal. Jasper had his face fixed on mine with a lot of worry in his.

He hadn't clocked on yet but I was breathing such short breaths I could get words out.

Then, four half naked people came out the door to the lounge. My mum first, she was wearing a red silky thong and matching bra which made her cellulite really obvious. Then a man I didn't know in a pair of black man thongs who had wrapped my mother's hands up with a silk scarf and was speaking to her in a husky voice.

Then they were followed up by a blonde woman in what looked like the lilac version of what my mum was wearing. I mean seriously lilac? Urmm yeah, then she had a scarf wrapped round her eyes and wrists and was followed by my father, who was wearing Mr. Strong pants.

I seem to recall Jasper pulling me through the front door and putting me in his car before driving me somewhere….

**Ha, I bet you didn't see that coming did you?! Ahaa no you didn't.**

**And although I am still sufficiently pissed that like no one is reviewing even though each chapter has like 50+ hits I thought I would upload for people to can be bothered reviewing. **

**So yeah, I just hope you feel as guilty as Alice for not eating her dinner. **

**Happy days.**


	18. Chapter 18

I sat in Jaspers kitchen with a blank expression on my face as he made me tea. He knew how I liked it, milk two sugars. He just had milk in his and to the point where it was still orangey but quite milky.

He handed me my tea and sat down opposite and took my out stretched hand from the table.

"Alice" He began but I knew what I was going to do, I was decided.

"Jasper, can I stay here?" I asked straight out, I didn't want to dance around it because plans had to be made and action had to be taken.

"Yes, it was what I was about to say" He said with a small smile turning up the corners of his lips.

"I need to get all my stuff from-" I broke off "From their house" I said strongly to cover my pause when I came to speaking about them.

"You also need to tell Emmett and Edward about things" Jasper pointed out while taking a sip of tea. I hid my head in my hands and rubbed my eyebrow which was where I was beginning to get a headache.

"I know" I lifted my head out my hands and spoke again "But first I need to get my stuff out that bloody house"

"Yes but we'll have to wait till there erh, done" we caught each other's eye and started laughing. It's odd that something so destructive to a family can be so hilarious at the same time…

"Yes well they will leave to go out around 7ish so I can go back to get my stuff at 8" I said after I and Jasper had managed to compose ourselves.

"Yeah, that's a good idea" He agreed checking the time on his phone "I should start making dinner or something…" He said standing up and moving towards the cupboards. We were sat at the breakfast bar.

"You cook?" I asked taken aback.

"Urrm yes Alice, I cook a lot" He paused and looked at me again confused "I've cooked for you! How can you not remember that" A smiled twitched his lips.

"No, No! I thought that soup you made was like, out a can" I laughed.

"I feel insulted now, I might just go jump off my balcony after that" My mouth dropped open.

"You never told me you have a balcony!" I squealed jumping up excitedly. I have a irrational love for balcony's, they remind me of when my aunty took me to Barcelona when I was little and I could stand on the hotel balcony of our room and look out across the city with all the chimney tops and all the beautiful mosaics made by Gaudi.

"Yes Alice we have a balcony" He paused and looked at me "Would you like to see it?"

"YES!" He laughed and took my hand.

I followed him up the stair, still hand in hand. I hadn't realised just how big and beautiful his house was.

He took my up another flight of stairs, turned left and opened the large oak door at the bottom of the turquoise coloured corridor.

The door opened to a large balcony with a dark tiled floor and a glass wall surrounding it which came above my waist. The balcony over looked the back of Jaspers house. I'd only been here once and I didn't explore that time because I was busy being ill which had meant I'd never known that the back of Jaspers house overlooks a beach. One of many beaches I knew too well.

"Jasper is that…?" I said turning in the door frame to look up at Jasper.

"Yes. Part of La Plush"

I gazed out at the view again, there were lots and lots of trees and you could only just see the beach but it looks gorgeous. I could hardly imagine what it looked like in summer…

"It's not particularly special-"Jasper started to say but I interrupted.

"No Jasper it's beautiful" I looked up at him again and her kissed me.

I bet we looked a picture. Standing on a Balcony overlooking a beach locked in a strong embrace.

We talked for a while; we sat with our legs hanging over the edge of the balcony between the gap of the glass and the tiles. Jasper had his arm round me and my head fit perfectly on his shoulder.

At that moment I realised what had been in the back of my mind ever since meeting Jasper. We were right together, everything worked. I'd had other boyfriends who had been nice, they'd looked ok but we weren't right together, there wasn't anything there… Not like with Jasper, everything between us worked. He was nice looking, a nice jaw and he had lovely soft hair and no matter how much you messed it up he would just flick his head and it would swish back into place. He was also one of the nicest people I had ever met, and everything between us just worked…

I cold gush of wind took me off guard and a shiver crept up my back, Jasper looked at me.

"Cold?" He asked.

"A little" He pulled me in closer to his warm body and he checked the time on his phone.

"Well its half seven now so we could get off to yours if you like?" I nodded and he helped me up from the balcony floor and with one last look to La Plush I stepped back into the house.

**So yes, maybe this long gap between updates will make you think twice before not reviewing and you'll find the goodness in your heart to review and put a lil smile on my face ;)**

**I'm finishing this story in the next week or so because I need a change and I'll write a comedy which I enjoy greatly. But I will write a sequel to this one day =)**


	19. Chapter 19

I sat outside the house in Jaspers car looking blankly up at the house.

All the lights were out and only my car was outside so I assumed my parents had gone out swinging and Edward was out with Bella.

"Are we going in?" Jasper asked with a slightly concerned look on his face.

"Well I suppose we'll have to won't we" I murmured swinging my legs out the door.

I walked up to the door remembering what had happened the last time I had un-clicked the lock.

Once again I stuck the key in and waited for the click and swing of the door. All it revealed this time was my dark house. I let out a slight gasp of relief and stepped in with Jasper behind me.

He followed me up the stairs and across the landing to my bedroom.

"What should I bring?" I asked Jasper as he sat down on the edge of my bed while I pulled my large suitcase out from under my bed.

"Everything you'll need" He smiled.

I was unsure about this because Jasper had never seen my wardrobe properly. And I was sure to need everything in there…

My wardrobe was quite large. The reason for this was when anything happened between me and my parents to make up for it I would be taken shopping, and the same my brothers argued with me. Which accumulated to a wardrobe that I was sure crossed a time zone somewhere…

I dragged my suitcase over to my wardrobe and pulled back the doors and turned to Jasper.

"Everything I'll need?" I asked smiling.

"Sweet Jesus Alice, why do you own so many clothes?!" He asked awestruck at my collection of TopShop clothing.

I explained the situation of shopping after arguments while packing everything I wore and liked seen as everybody has things in there wardrobe they don't like or wear.

"So basically when your brothers and parents find out you've left you had three shopping sprees?" Jasper asked.

"No, just one" I replied from the bathroom while filling my wash bag with my toiletries.

"Why one when you have two brothers and one set of parents?" He said confused.

"Well, I won't be speaking to my parents will I, and Edward? Well as hard as he tries the kid isn't cut out for shopping…" I thought about the last time he tried to take me shopping then stopped remembering the shoes he picked up… Ugh.

"Oh, fair enough" He nodded looking round my room.

I continued filling my bag with my school and art stuff. I wasn't surprised this all fit in my bag because it was a massive bag…

My thinking was interrupted suddenly by Jasper.

"Alice" He said sharply. More sharp then I'd ever heard his voice go before, it made my hairs stand on end..,

"Yes" I said turning from putting my shoes into the bag.

"You had something important to tell me when we came back to your house after school and you never got round to it"

It felt like someone had popped all my insides with a pin and they'd all fallen to the bottom of my stomach and were making it feel very heavy.

I opened my mouth to say something but no sound came out. I brought my legs up to my chest to try and stop the squirming feeling. I couldn't look at Jasper. He had gone quiet now…

He got up off my bed and came and sat next to me on the floor. He put his arm round me and let my head rest on his shoulder.

"You can tell me Alice" He said softly.

"But you'll be angry" I said in a very quiet voice as my lip began to tremble.

"Alice I won't be, I promise I won't be" He kissed me on the top of my head and the guilt spread through me like poison.

"I haven't been eating" I said in an even quieter voice. I knew Jasper had heard because his grip around me had tightened.

"But I've seen you eat in school" He was confused now, he didn't know my tricks. He didn't know what a secretive bitch I was. All because of this I could lose him, all because of those stupid scales.

"I've been spitting it out into my water bottle" My voice was so quiet I didn't know how Jasper could have heard.

He put his other arm round me and pulled me into the tightest hug I've ever had. I could feel my hot tears running down my cheeks and getting lost in my hair.

"Alice we need to sort you out" He whispered in my ear.

I ignored it. I ignored everything. I just wanted this forever, I never wanted him to let go. I felt loved like I never had done. No one had ever had this much time for me, ever.

After what felt like hours he slowly released his hold on me so he looked at me full on.

He whipped away my tears and moved my hair out my face while taking my hand in his.

"We can sort this out Alice, I promise" All I did was nod.

**Slightly shorter chapter but oh well. **

**Review please :) **


	20. Chapter 20

We left late. Really late, like 9ish…

After mine and Jaspers heart to heart I thought it would be better to limit what I said, not wanting to ruin the lovely atmosphere which was now in the car with us.

"So, my parents will be in when we get back" I could see him send me a side glance.

"Oh" I chewed my lip. I was nervous I mean really…

They had never met me and I was turning up to their house with a suitcase full of stuff expecting them to take me in with loving arms…

"I text my mum before saying you're staying, she's excited"

"For what?" I laughed.

"I don't know, meeting you I think…" My eyes narrowed.

"Urmm, Jasper how much have you told your parents about me?" A smile teased the edge of his lips but he kept his eyes on the road.

"I told them what you're like, how lovely you are and about your parents"

"Nothing else?"

"Nope" He parked the car in the drive and turned to me "Secrets are safe with me Alice" He kissed me softly and got out the car and opened the boot.

I closed my eyes and took in a big breath.

I think staying at Jaspers will be nice, his family are nice, the house is nice and the atmosphere is nice so it will be nice.

I let out my big breath and opened my eyes. I smile and got out the car.

My rucksack was over one shoulder and I had my nice handbag over the over, one hand was holding the rucksack on my shoulder and the other was clinging onto Jaspers. He was pulling along my rather large suitcase.

I did hope his parents knew I was moving in and not just staying for the weekend. I mean really, you don't leave home and have a distressing time packing and moving to your boyfriends just to move back again.

Doesn't work like that….

Jasper unlocked the door unusually quietly which caused a me to wrinkle my forehead, the wrinkle deepened as he quietly started pulling my large bag up the stairs.

To my confusion he succeeded in not disturbing anyone, I followed him into the room next to his.

"This is the spare room" He lay my suitcase down on the floor "You can put your clothes and everything in here and there's a bathroom just…" He pushed a door open "There" He paused again looking at the bed this time "You don't need to sleep in here though" I met his glance and we both laughed.

"Lovely" I smiled up at him and he kissed the top of my head.

" We should really go see my parents but" He looked at me "I think you need to clean up your make-up and get changed first"

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, he was right my hair was knotty, my make-up with all over my face from crying and my clothes were creased and messy.

"Oh yeah" I laughed and he turned to leave "No! Don't go what if someone comes in" I could feel my face go into worry mode.

"I feel like a pervert watching you get change though" He murmured as I changed into a loose white vintage blouse tucked into black high wasted shorts, over the knee black socks and a loose grey cardigan.

I laughed at his comment and began taking off the make-up that had smudged then re-applying it so it looked just as perfect as it had done before I'd left the house this morning.

"Ready?" He asked once I had brushed through my hair.

"I think so…" Then I looked at my feet "Oh, do I need shoes?"

"Nope, I need to take mine off my mum doesn't like her carpets getting messed up…" I laughed and he took my hand and we went downstairs.

"Mum, Dad?" He got his parents attention quickly, they were in the kitchen.

Carlisle, Jaspers dad was still in his work clothes and was sat at the breakfast bar reading the paper and drinking coffee.

Esme, Jaspers mum was sat opposite Carlisle. She was also drinking coffee but was flicking through recipe cards.

They both looked up when we came in and greeted us with warm loving smiles. I felt like something inside me had turned to stone and dropped inside me; my parents wouldn't have been like this. It would have taken at least three attempts to get their attention, and then they would have just been rude with no smiles, warmth or love.

"Hey you guys" Esme beamed at us "Your as beautiful as Jasper so you were" She moved closer and I could feel my cheeks burn red as I looked up at Jasper. His cheeks match mine.

"Mum" He cringed.

"Sorry, sorry" She came round from the breakfast bar and hugged us both.

"I was just deciding what to make for tea" She shared a breath glance with Jasper "How's pasta? Jasper told me you don't eat meat so I chose a vegetarian recipe" I just smiled and nodded. I wasn't use to this.

Esme smiled back and began cooking, I took a seat next to Jasper at the table and Carlisle joined us and just like Esme he had a welcoming smile.

"So are you guys going out tonight or is it a quiet night in with board games, movies and popcorn?" He looked from me to Jasper.

Seriously, it amazed me that he didn't remember me from previous bizarre injuries he had had to deal with at the hospital. Like when I'd vaulted the stairs, landed and was the knocked unconscious by Edward opening a door or the time I got my baby finger caught up inside a radiator that had to be removed from the wall so that I could get to hospital.

"Well, we aren't sure yet I need to speak to Alice" He looked at me and I looked from him to Carlisle caught up in my thoughts I forgotten the question.

"Urmm, yeah" I just smiled and hoped no one would ask….

"You're Alice Brandon aren't you?" He asked squinting his eyes slightly and I just nodded.

"Alice Brandon as in the one whom…"

"Vaulted the stairs and got knocked out by an opening door and ended up in A&E with my pinky finger inside of a radiator?" I smiled as the memories came flooding back to him.

"Whaaaaaat?" Jasper asked confused looking between me and his father.

"Alice was a regular in A&E for bizarre injuries a few years back" He paused and looked at me again before turning back to Jasper "The last incident involved three mugs and a wet floor am I right?"

"Nopee, the last one wasn't so bizarre and you didn't treat me for it" I blushed remembering the incident two months ago "It was when slipped down the stairs when drunk at a house party and broke three toes" Jasper and Carlisle just laughed.

We talked about other stuff for a while about things like school, sport and I had just started explaining my interest in photography when Esme finished cooking.

She placed four plates of pasta down on the table with knives, forks and glasses of water.

I stared at the pasta conspicuously trying to make sure Jasper didn't notice, or Esme because I wouldn't want her to think I was ridiculing her cooking.

Everyone else carried on talking about their days while I stayed quiet and ate my pasta it didn't taste bad at all, in fact it was lovely but every mouthful I took I felt guilt after guilt. I managed nearly half of what Esme had given me, I felt bad on her.

I slipped a hand down from my knee and I felt for Jaspers hand and he squeezed it tight,

**Well yeah, I have great plans for this story you lucky things, review?**


	21. Chapter 21

We didn't end up going out anywhere. We stayed in and watched some TV with Carlisle and Esme; it was nice they are just really chilled. I hadn't watched TV with my parents since I was tiny when I use to watch the Disney channel with my dad and he use to pretend to be daffy duck.

We only got to bed at quarter to one and under Esme's instruction I was to sleep in the spare room and Jasper was to sleep in his. She said it would just be for a few days while she got to know me more…

So that left me lying awake in the spare room at three in the morning unable to sleep. I had a feeling inside me and I couldn't put my finger on what it was but all I could tell is that I didn't feel it before, only slightly but it was something that had been nagging away at me for a while.

It felt like, like a hole inside my middle something that could be filled for a time but never long enough and I lived in constant fear of it coming back because… Well I didn't know why but I just did.

There were things that I just did lots of things I just did and purely because I just did and its how things were and no matter how much I tried I just couldn't help it. Like now I was tired, so tired but I couldn't sleep because I just couldn't.

There are reasons behind everything, but sometimes it just takes a while to find out those reasons and I suppose my empty hole was left from being…

Lonely I guess.

Yeah, just lonely all the time and when I was with people I could fill that hole.

There were other things I couldn't quite tell as well, things like I could be with people and be so cheerful for hours then just come right down again and feel miserable. But again, it's just how things were.

Just then my attention was pulled away from the window I was looking out of when I heard the door quietly slide open.

"Alice?" Jasper whispered.

I rolled over to see him standing in the half open door frame.

"Hey" I whispered back and he came in and sat on the bed next to me.

"I didn't think you'd be asleep and I didn't want you to get lonely" I smiled at him and sat up slowly so I was resting on a propped up pillow.

"Thanks" I lent my head on his shoulder and he put an arm round me "So I was thinking and I came to a conclusion"

"Oh really?" He murmured while turning his head slightly, I could smell his minty breath on my face. I do like a boy with nice smelling breath…

"Yes, and I can safely say I have no idea what to do next" I felt Jaspers head tilt slightly and looked up to meet his half confused and half amused face.

"Have no idea to do what next?" He asked.

"Well everything, I mean I'm scared what the reaction will be from my brothers well I tell them I'm living with my boyfriend" He laughed "No really it's not funny if you end up hospitalised by Emmett you won't be laughing" I pointed out and he stopped laughing.

"No that's true" He met my gaze "But at least I won't be sat in A&E with a radiator stuck on my finger" My mouth dropped open.

"OI!" I hit him with the nearest pillow.

"Mhmm, anyway yeah you can stay here and don't need to go home and you have all your school stuff with you so it's easy enough, you just need to relax" He put his arm round me again and took one of my hands.

"I know but the thing is that's not just it at all" He looked at me confused "You're going to do something about eating and-"I could feel my lip starting to wobble and bit it "And I'm scared I won't like it and I'll end up doing something silly" His grip round me got tighter.

"Something silly like…?" I just shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't even know, I mean I just know I'll end up messing things wrong because I'm tapped-"

"Hey, hey, hey!" He looked me straight in the eye "You're not tapped" His beautiful brown eyes searched mine trying to reassure me it was true but I knew it wasn't. I bit my still wobbling lip and looked away; he put his other arm round me and gave me a hug.

"I said earlier we would sort you out and I meant it, we will"

"But how?" My voice was breaking up and you could hear the worry in my voice.

"We'll get you seen by someone, a doctor or something I'll speak to my dad-" My little gasp broke up our hug and he held me at arm's length and looked at me confused "You want to get better don't you?" There was a definite crinkle in his brow now.

"Yeah but" I bit my lip again "But they'll make me put weight on and-"He laughed humourlessly.

"Alice, I'm not being silly or anything but your skin and bones babe" He was searching my eyes and yet again I looked away.

"Well I don't see myself like that" I said harshly.

"But if we get you help you will, I promise you will it's just now this thing you have wrong with you is making you not see what's really there" I had to bite back my tears.

"And what do I have wrong with me?" I asked in a small voice.

"I…" He bit his lip "I'm not sure properly" He pulled me close and held me for what felt like years I wanted this, just this nothing else I would be happy just to spend my life wrapped in Jaspers arms.

But things don't work like that, things are difficult and most of the time never what you want and all you can do is roll with it and hope you come out well. Sometimes you do come out well, sometimes you don't.

And I hadn't.


	22. Chapter 22

I woke up alone with the sun beating down on my face through the window.

It was one of those mornings when I woke up in a hot flush feeling clammy and too warm. I whipped off the duvet in a hope it would stop me feeling so warm, it didn't. I stood up feeling delirious and wondered into the on suite bathroom.

I stripped off my clothes and turn the shower temperature to cold and put it on full, I was too tired to stand up so I sat on the floor of the shower feeling the cold rush of the water.

I waited till I could feel the goose bumps against my arms then I turned the shower off. The room felt empty now, too quiet. I'd have turned the shower back on to give me something to listen to but I'd be too tempted just to get back in and stay there all day.

And I couldn't do that, I have things to do today and they are important things.

I put my bath robe over my day old underwear which made me feel ill just knowing it was a day old. But I'd much rather have day old underwear on with the robe then nothing just in case Jasper or one of his parents came in.

I went back into the bedroom and went towards my suitcase before remembering that I'd unpacked everything with Esme the night before.

It felt weird opening a draw that wasn't yours but was full of all your clothes, I hoped I'd get use to it because I wasn't going home.

I put on a baggy white t-shirt with a pocket over one of my boobs tucked into my high wasted floral skirt with a silver dip down the front. I then put on my locket, black tights and finished the outfit off with a black cardigan. I had decided white pumps would be the best option to go with my outfit.

After getting changed I quietly blow dried my hair and did my make-up. I'd just finished perfecting my last bit of eyeliner then something vibrated on the bedside table. The noise nearly gave me a heart attack.

I vaulted the bed to read the text, then realising I had eleven texts all from different people.

Six of the texts where from the day before….

**Jacob: **

_Heyy alii! What you doing this weekend we haven't spent time together in ages! X_

**Becki:**

_R u comin out tonite??? We r goin 2 dat pink diner xxxxluvuxxx_

**Emmett:**

_Aliceeeee! My favourite little sister! When do you want to meet me at Starbucks tomorrow __ x_

**Emmett: **

…_That's if you want to meet at starbucks, but you never say no to starbucks… x_

**Lavender: **

_Alice how do you feel about coming to see that new film with me? The one that's really nerdy but we both wanted to see… I can't remember the name now but yeah, we should totally go tomorrow so yeah get back to me __ xx_

**Edward: **

_Alice. Its getting late. Where are you? X_

I looked at the remaining five texts from today, or the early hours of today…

**Edward: **

_Where the heck are you? X_

**Edward: **

_Alice I've just been in your room. Where the hell has your stuff gone?! X_

**Jacob: **

_Alice we are having a party at the Rez on the nice beach tonight, you should come and bring Jasper too __ x_

**Seth:**

_IF YOU'RE NOT AT OUR BEACH PARTY AMMA GO CRY! SORRY MY CAPS KEY IS STUCK __ LMAO LY XX_

**Emmett: **

_Alice I just got a call off Edward saying he's really worried because you and your stuff is gone so phone me once you've read this message. I'm on my way home xxx_

I sighed slowly and phoned Emmett. No matter how blank I knew my mind would be when it came to talking about living at my bloody boyfriend's house… I bet that would sound great.

Ring Ring…

"Alice?" His voice sounded worried on the other end of the phone which wasn't normal for Emmett.

"Hi" My voice was tentative; I didn't want to be too casual.

"Alice where the hell are you?! And why are all your clothes gone?!" He sounded sick with worry, I wasn't use to this.

"Hey, hey calm down" I took a breath "I walked in on mum and dad with their swinger friends having some fun and it was the last straw" I said calmly. My voice sounded perfectly calm and smooth. My body told a different story however, I was shaking uncontrollably.

"WHAT?!" He bellowed down the phone. I had to move it an inch away from my ear to stop him ruining my good hearing.

"Yeah, its gross but I'm staying at Jaspers and I have all my-"

"Jasper as in your boyfriend Jasper" I chewed my lip and decided through was the best way to deal with this.

"Yes and his parents are really nice, it's a massive house so I stay in one of their many spar rooms" I hoped this would be enough to get in off my back.

"Right then, as long as there's nothing _going on _there is no problem" I smiled happily at my lying skills because no one was going to control me like my pathetic attempts at parents could. Not even my brother.

"So are you coming over?" I asked.

"Urmm yeah, I've organised something with Edward and the guys from high school but I can come see you if you want or we can meet up…"

"There's a beach party at La Push tonight it'll have Leah and Jared and everyone there who you use to hang out with" They use to hang out a lot, like me and Jacob do.

"Yeah that'll be great" His town was weird it was like fake.

"Bring Edward as well and" I took a breath to control my shaking "Tell him where and I am and what happened. I'll explain more when I see you tonight"

"Ok Ali, cya later"

"By love you"

"Love you too little sis" I hung up the phone.

I sat there thinking of something to do and I ended up just getting my clothes out and ready for the party at La Push. When I was done I text Jasper.

_Where are you? I miss you x_

It didn't take long for a reply.

**I'm just in the car coming back from getting breakfast, you'll love this. Miss you too just ten minutes babe x**

I smiled at the text, I did love Jasper. More than anything. I didn't like being away from not even for just another ten minutes.

It made me feel unsure, and feeling unsure had always made me so silly things.

I curled up on the bed and wrapped myself in the duvet to stop me from getting cold. The weather here is bobbins, it might look sunny outside but it sure wasn't warm.

Sure enough about ten minutes later I hear voices downstairs of Jasper and his father. I heard footsteps on the stairs and then Jasper stuck his head round the door. He smiled a big warm smile and bounded down to sit next to me.

"We bought breakfast" I could feel my stomach doing summersaults.

"I can't eat breakfast it makes me feel sick" I said simply trying to put my acrobatic stomach at rest. Jasper tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.

"Well you'll just have to try" He said still smiling before pulling at a corner of the duvet I was wrapped in. It all unravelled from around me and left me sat there.

I just looked at him as my back spazzed and I shivered. He sighed and opened one of the wardrobe doors. It was a triple wardrobe with three doors and I only used to so didn't wonder what was in the third.

Jasper pulled out a grey hoodie and tossed it to me. It was the same shade of grey as my cardigan. It had a zip down it and those cool white dangly things hanging down from the bottom on the hood. I liked to chew those bits when sleeping.

I sat there in his hoodie slightly less cold.

He took my hand and led me out the spar room and down to the kitchen.

**Yeah, it took a while to write this. I wasn't really in the zone last week and I have a English coursework to be in soon so I can't take advantage of my in the zone writing emotions and write another chapter later =/**

**Also thanks to the people who keep reading but it would be nice to see another review from someone **


	23. Chapter 23

I realised that all meal times at the Cullen's house must be like this because Jaspers face didn't look the least bit bothered by the fact they had a large spread of breakfast food ranging from plain toast to exotic fruits. There was also a jug of fresh orange and an actual tea set with tea in set in the centre of the table.

I sat down next to Jasper feeling as though I was intruding a breakfast scene in Gossip Girl or something but Jasper just began a pleasant conversation with Esme about possible plans for the day while Carlisle read the paper.

I felt my eyes began to jump from food to food pondering on what I would end up having for breakfast when my thoughts were interrupted by Jasper. ..

"Is there anything you wanted to do today Alice?" He and Esme were looking at me with pleasant smiles.

"Urrm" I thought for a moment "Jacob and Seth text me before saying they are having a beach party on the Rez and my brothers are going and they asked if we wanted to go"

"That sounds fun you guys should go, you'll have a great time" Esme said taking her and Carlisle's dirty dishes towards the sink. She was wearing an expensive looking cream dressing gown with matching slippers.

The conversation flowed naturally and I simply put in a word or two when asked something but except that I concentrated on trying to look normal when eating.

I had a piece of toast with a light spread of butter and small low fat strawberry yoghurt with a class of pineapple juice.

When I and Jasper were done we left the table and went and sat in his room he walked ahead of me and when I turned from closing his door I just saw him lying flat out on his unmade bed. A small smile pulled at the corner of my lips.

I ran over and jumped on him.

I do show affection for people I love in a unusual way, but when I jump on you it probably means I feel comfortable enough to be myself around you. So that's nice.

He gave a low moan followed by a deep chuckle then turned over knocking me onto his pillows. We wrestled playfully for a while. It was bliss, just rolling around in soft bed covers and pillows with the one person I was willing to do everything and anything for and he feel the same way about me.

The play fighting ended when I was I was giggling too much to carry on with my pathetic attempt and winning against Jasper.

He flopped down beside me out of breath and for a while all you could hear was our heavy panting breath until it gradually slowed and Jasper rolled over to look at me.

"So" He murmured playing with a stray strand of my dark hair.

"So?" I repeated after him and flicked his nose lightly which immediately brought a lift to his mouth.

"So what are we doing today?" He says like it's up to me.

"I don't know" I cocked my head trying to think "What do you want to do?"

"I don't mind"

"You never mind" I grumbled which made him chuckle.

There was a pause then, not like an awkward pause or an empty pause it was he sort of pause which I love. The pause where no one has to say anything because there's no need and love just circulates the veins and pumps through you pulsing out of each of you.

Then Jasper sat up, I copied his movement.

He gazed into my eyes and I gazed back at his beautiful brown ones feeling a tinge of guilt that all he gets to gaze into are my boring green eyes.

His hands travelled in and out of the bed sheets until they found mine which were resting on my crossed legs.

"What makes you happy?" He asks and his eyes immediately look half saddened.

"You" The glint returns to his eyes and his smiles.

"Except from me?" He laughs and tweaks my nose.

I took a large breath and began to answer his question…

"Anything Disney, glitter, jewellery, shopping, my close friends, you, taking photos, my camera named Gerald, beaches, volley ball, fairgrounds, music, Starbucks, reading, texting, sitting on roofs, holidays, painting my nails, painting, souvenir's, feeling hysterical, long hugs, beds, sitting in bathrooms, photo albums, bubbles, Vogue, romance, random sayings, the smell of new things, walking on my hands, staying awake all night, sitting upsidown on the sofa, exploring, cats, awesome moments that just happen, raves, kisses, fresh apple juice, Frisbee, candles, running so fast I surprise myself, dancing to can't touch this, flowers, walking home after house party's really early, perfume, walking around in my underwear-"

Jasper held his hand up to stop me continuing with my list, I was about to open my mouth to protest but Jasper kissed me.

Normally with Jasper its nice soft kisses but not now. It was passionate with power, he wrapped his arms round my waist and mine found their way up to his neck. I felt his hand run down and across one of my bum cheeks and it sent a shudder up my spine.

It took us a long time to break apart because I always wish for those moments to last forever.

"I love you Jasper" I murmured into his ear after we stopped kissing but kept our arms wrapped around each other.

"I love you too Alice"

"Good because if you didn't I'd be heartbroken" I said pulling away from him and stretching.

"Likewise" He lay back down on the bed and I lay next to him "So I still don't think I got a straight forward answer on what we are going to do today"

"Well I think before we do anything I should have a tour of your lovely house seen as I'm going to be staying here a while"

"That's true and I hope you know you can stay here until we go off to college…" He began.

"I know, I know" I said snuggling into Jaspers side.

"So after I give you a tour of this house, what would you like to do?" His arms wrapped around my waist and his head rested on my shoulder so I could feel his warm breath on my cheek.

"Well we could go on a walk you live so close to the beach-"

"And the beach makes you happy" He laughed.

"Yes it does" I smiled.

**Its going somewhere I promise….**

**Review **


	24. Chapter 24

After a nice long tour of Jasper enormous house we found ourselves settled on his rather comfy sofa while channel flicking. I was sat on his knee with my head resting comfortable on his chest.

Esme and Carlisle had left to see some old friends weren't coming home till Monday evening.

I was watching Jasper mindlessly flick through channels when I recognised something…

"JASPER!" I almost shout as I sat up straight excitedly.

"What?!" He looked at me confused.

"Go back to that channel you were just on" I said watching the T.V hoping that it was what I thought I saw…

He flicked back to the channel.

"This one this one!" I said lightly slapping his hand.

"Alice what…?" Then he realised what I was watching so animatedly.

"Disney" He said simply.

It was Disney's version of sleeping beauty which I adored. I remember watching it with Edward and Emmett when I was little and me and Edward use to get into it so much we'd sit so close to the screen that when the evil Maleficent came on we would flinch back petrified.

I could feel Jasper watching me rather than the T.V and I turned round to look at him because I was still sat up straight rather than learning on his chest.

"What?" I asked while searching his eyes.

"You're adorable you know that?" He asked as his eyes softened and he learned in a kissed me softly and I pulled away wanting to watch.

"I do love you Alice" He laughed.

"I love you too Jasper" I learn back onto his knee and stretched my legs out onto the most of the sofa me and Jasper hadn't taken up. Jasper slunk his arms around me and learned down a little making it a hell of a lot more comfy then it already was.

I don't know when it was that I feel asleep but I just remember waking up.

"Alice…?" Jasper murmured softly, I could feel that he was straining to sit up without moving me.

"Mhmm?" I mumbled in response.

"Are you awake?" I raised an eyebrow and opened my eyes.

"No didums that's why I'm talking to you" He laughed and lifted me so I was sat on his lap.

I rubbed my head tiredly and he pulled me into his chest and hugged me.

"What time is it Jasper?" I asked quietly.

"It's about ten past five…" I just groaned in response to this and he peered down at me confused.

"We need to find out when we have to be at Jacobs and go and get ready"

"Right lets go get ready then" He gave me one last tight squeeze and I stood up off his knee.

My legs felt like jelly and I stumbled but Jasper caught me with his strong arms.

"Wow" I said quietly and shook my head slowly trying to regain my balance and Jasper held lightly onto my shoulders ready for if I tripped again.

"Alice are you ok?" He asked worriedly.

"Yeah I'm just…" And I thought for a moment. Was I tired? Only slightly… I just felt weak, really weak…

"Right well your eating before we go out anyway because we slept through lunch" The fact he said we released little butterflies in my tummy. I'd just slept on a sofa with my boyfriend who I love lots and lots.

I'd slept on sofas with other boyfriends but normally because we were too drunk to get up or because there was no room anywhere else and I had never felt this before… This that I have with Jasper, whatever it is is amazing and I love it and never want it to go away.

"But-"

"Alice you're going to eat"

"But-"

"You're going to eat because you love me and I want you to be ok because I love you" He said simply and I looked up at him and he gave me a quick kiss on the lips as I silently admitted defeat "Come on"

He led me upstairs with his hand in mine. He walked slowly to make sure I didn't trip or stumble again I think…

"Right I'm gonna knock when I'm done getting ready ok babe?" He said which startled me because I'd hardly realised we were outside his room which was next door to mine.

"Yeah right safe, you can just come in I don't mind"

"He raised an eyebrow"

"What? I don't mind you like my boyfriend so…"

"I never asked you out properly did i?" He asked with a smirk.

"I don't think you did…" I said thinking "No you didn't" I could feel my mouth half drop.

"Well then Alice, will you go out with me?"

"Urmm Jasper, I think we past that stage seen as I'm living in your house" I looked at him and he just gave me puppy eyes "Fine! Fine! Yes I would like to go out with you…" He laughed and we both went into our rooms.

The first thing I did was pick up my phone from the night table so I could phone Jacob and tell him when we would be round.

I pressed a button and missed call icon flashed and I clicked it.

26 missed calls of Jacob.

Oh dear I thought raising my hand to my mouth which was in a half smile. I clicked the call button.

"ALICE WHY THE HECK HAVEN'T YOU BEEN ANSWERING MY CALLS?!" I heard him practically yell down the phone.

"Sorry Sorry!" I smiled "I was asleep"

"Oh" The other end of the phone went quiet "That's ok then…"

**So yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. **

**That's chapter 24…. **


	25. Chapter 25

I took a shower and blow dried my hair into its natural short curls and did my make-up quite simply leaving deciding on an outfit till last because I can never know how an outfit looks if my hair and make-up isn't done.

Just then I heard a knock on the door and rolled my eyes.

"Just come I told you I didn't mind if you just came in" I was wearing my girl boxers with a rubix cube pattern on them with a baggy white t-shirt on and was making my way over to the dresser where my clothes stored.

He walked in and raised an eyebrow at my bare legs.

"I know they are nasty but I couldn't be bothered with anything until I-"

"Shush" He said passing the distance between us in a few steps "Your legs are fine" He laughed and took my hand.

We shared a moment. We seem to be sharing moments quite frequently at the moment, I don't know we just like our moments.

"What time does Jacob want us round?" He asked breaking the moment at the appropriate time.

"Urmm in about an hour I think…" I'd tried to make the phone call snappy so he couldn't get any sly pie questions into the call.

"Good that gives us time for you to get dressed and eat" My stomach tied itself into a knot.

"They'll have food there-"

"But I want to make sure you eat" He said taking his other hand and squeezing them tightly.

"Right, fine" I said in defeat and he smiled and let go of my hands as I walked over to the dresser and started looking through for an outfit.

I knew it would just be casual wear but nice casual wear. I put on a longish low cut black top that covered the most of my arse with black tights and a baggy grey cardigan with dark grey socks that you could see just over the top of my black boots that looked like soldier boots. When we left I was going to put my Parka over the top because the weather did not look convincing despite the fact it was almost April break.

I got changed then and there, I didn't care if Jasper was watching or not but I knew he wouldn't be because I had heard him walk over to where the window was and he was looking out of it.

"Right" I said turning to face him from the mirror where I had just put on my lip gloss "Ready?" I lifted my parka off the floor and put it on before looking up at him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" He said with a sly smile.

"Urmm I don't think so…" I said trying to think but I had fresh underwear in my bag along with my sweats, baggy t-shirt and pumps for the next day "TOOTHBRUSH!" I said before running into the bathroom for my toothbrush.

"Yep that's everything!" I beamed up at him and he gave a smile which was even more sly then before "What? We are ready to go aren't we?" He just laughed and shook his head.

"No you still have to eat while I get my stuff together seen as somebody" He pretended to glare at me "Forgot to say we were staying there"

"Oh right yeah" I laughed and took my stuff downstairs with Jasper walking right behind me.

He made me a cheese and salad sandwich in a brown bread bun which I ate when I was sat on his bed watching him get his stuff together.

"So we can like walk to La Push can't we?" I ask half way through my sandwich and catching a thin piece of lettuce that fell out the back.

"Yeah" I through a t-shirt into his bag before taking a bite of one of his two sandwiches "Urmm your friend Jacob what's his last name?" I looked at him curiously for a second before answering.

"Black" I looked at him carefully for a moment and something somewhere in Jaspers head clicked "D'you know him?" I asked feeling my mouth turning into a little O shape.

"I think I went to kinder garden with him…" He trailed off and finished off his second sandwich before looking at my half eaten one "You gonna finish that up here or are you gonna walk and eat?"

"I'll finish it now" I said hopping off the bed and following him out his room, down the stairs and into the hallway I was almost done with my sandwich when we were standing by the back door after locking the front one.

I swallowed my last bite and it astonished me that it had taken be that long just to eat one sandwich, it was pretty pathetic when you stopped to think about it really.

Jasper smiled when he saw I'd finished my sandwich.

"Enjoy that?" He asked with a little smile on his face.

"Apparently not as much as you did" I said grasping his free hand as he unlocked the French doors to the large garden.

"I like it when you eat" His voice sounded slightly smaller than usual. This was odd because Jaspers no beef cake of a man but he's a tough cookie and doesn't crack easily. I must be his weak point…

"Well I don't" The words popped out my mouth and I regretted it straight away.

"I know but I want you go get better and you might not like it but I want you to be ok so much. I love you Alice and I'd do anything for you and if that includes making you eat a child size sandwich or sky diving naked, I'd do it for you"

I didn't have a proper response for that. I just turned round and wrapped my arms round him and buried my head in his chest. He hugged me back for quite some time before kissing the top of my head and releasing me from the hug.

"C'mon we better get going" I looked at him and took his hand and we started to walk through the woods losing all sight of the high up beach view of La Push.

"Jasper, you know like if you could go anywhere for a holiday where would you go?" I asked looking up at him as we walked through the woods.

"I don't really know" He thought for another minute "I mean I'd go somewhere in Europe like Norway or something…" He looked like he was thinking for another place in Europe, he is such a bad geography student…

"Norway is nice" I said watching where I was putting my feet so that I didn't fall or trip and look really stupid in front of Jasper, not that that hadn't already happened... I thought while trying to erase all memory of when I was ill that time.

"You've been?" He murmured while guiding me to the left through some more trees and onto a dirt track that seemed familiar.

"To Norway?" He nodded at me "Yeah I've been a few times like every year it was up to me, Emmett or Edward where we went" I paused thinking back to all those family holidays and all the fun we'd had only to end up with the family torn up like this "Emmett always went somewhere exciting with a big beach where we could play loads of sport and swim and Edward like holidays to cold places in Europe to museums and galleries"

"Wow" He said with a slight smile "So where did you like going" Our walking slowed and he looked down at me again.

"I chose places where the photos would come out amazing and where they had lots of cultures to learn about and where you could do exciting things like exploring" I giggled as we came out into a clearing.

"We should go on one of those holidays some time" He said quietly before putting his arm round my waist "Here we are" He pushed a branch out the way and there was La Push.

**The general ideas and themes for the next two chapters were thought up in a citizenship lesson by me and my good friend Chandini when we were suppose to be getting our information together to take into an exam in a week. **

**Yeah, we rebel the rules and regulations of our school ;) **

**Review baby!**


	26. Chapter 26

"Wow" I gazed at the view across the many beaches of La Push. It was beautiful I mean really I wish I lived here.

There were a stretch of sand dunes in front of us which we would have to pass in order to make it over to Jacobs place. I wasn't too keen on how steep the dunes were starting to look and I think Jasper noticed.

"You wanna piggy back?" He asked with a sly smile.

I didn't answer I just moved closer to him with me and I could feel my pearly white teeth appearing between my lips.

He bent down slight for me to climb onto his back but he wasn't quite low enough so I found it a challenger to clamber onto his back.

"You managed to get up then" He said laughing so I guess he had guessed how hard it had been for me to get up.

"Yeah it was practically easy with all this height I have…." He just sniggered and my laugh was muffled as I snuggled my face into his neck.

Jaspers steps were uneven on the trip down the sand dunes. I giggled softly as he stumbled…

"Jeez, why did we have to walk?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Because we like the thrills" I whispered in his ear and lent my weight side very fast and he stumbled slightly before regaining his balance then tripping over and empty wine bottle that I'm sure had been left out by me and Seth a few months ago….

We both hit the floor laughing.

"You ok?" He asked when we had both composed ourselves.

"I think so" I giggled with the smile still on my face. He was lying opposite to me so I was looking directly at his lovely face. His lopsided grin was amazingly gorgeous and looked even better because of the way the sun was hitting his face.

I learned in and kissed him softly then I heard someone clear their throat. We jumped apart quickly and I peered through the beam of sun to see Jacob standing over us with his hands on his hips in mock disapproval.

"Oh hello Jacob" I smiled up at as I tried to scramble up to my feet with a helping hand from Jasper.

Jacob smiled and hugged me tight.

"So your Jasper right?" He asked when we'd finished out hug.

"Yepp" Jasper laughed.

"Hey I'm sure I know you from somewhere" He look confused for a moment which meant he was thinking "HEY! Your Jasper Cullen right? You went to kinder garden with me!" He looked far more excited then he should do.

"Yeah that's the one" Jasper laughed.

We all walked back together to the beach where the party was going to be and we were greeted by Jacobs dad, Billy.

"Hey kids" He smiled at us then turned more towards Jasper "You must be Jasper" He smiled then titled his head slightly "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Yeah dad he went to kinder garden with me" Jacob smiled like a little child. If I didn't know any better I would have thought he was still in kinder garden….

"That's the one" Billy laughed "Well it's good to see you again" He shook Jaspers hand and smiled "And you too tiny" He winked at me and laughed. He's always called me tiny. Ever since I was… Well really tiny.

My family had been friends with the Black family for year's because my dad and Billy use to go fishing regularly when they were supposed to be looking after me, Jacob, Edward and Emmett but normally Jacobs sisters use to just take over because they thought we were all super cute.

We had got to the beach where the beach party was going to be and I could see Seth and his sister Leah sat round a unlit bonfire.

"ALI ALI ALI!" Seth shouted as he jumped up and ran towards me.

"SETH SETH SETH!" I shouted back at him and he gave me a hug so hard I thought I was going to fall over.

"We've missed you!" He said but I couldn't reply because my head was still pressed into his chest.

"Wow bro, let the girl breath!" Leah said coming up behind him. I could just hear Jasper and Jacob laughing.

Seth let go and Leah gave me a much less aggressive hug.

We also knew Seth and Leah because our mums use to run charity fairs together to raise money for less fortunate children and they also use to join us at Billy's when their dad, Harry went fishing.

"Right well it's almost half seven so I'm going to get the BBQ going so it'll be ready for eight. You kids have fun" Billy said before wheeling himself away towards the beach.

Jasper and Jacob seemed to be having some kind of scrambled catch up and were both beaming like idiots…

Leah was texting fast on her BlackBerry and I only vaguely recognised some of the other kids and adults who were hanging around on the beach.

It wasn't until I saw one of Emmett's old friends who he'd graduated with that I remembered he, Edward and Bella were suppose to be round at half eight. This made me slightly worried because they would want to talk to me about everything which I really wasn't in the mood for…

I was chewing my lip trying to come up with a plan when Seth came and sat on the step beside me outside Jacobs's house.

"What's up?"

"Nothing"

"Don't lie to me Alice" I laughed at this. Of course I couldn't lie to Seth we'd known each other forever and had been through a lot together so he could always tell when something was wrong …and I biting my lip was of my traits when I'm worried.

"Gonna tell me what's wrong then?" He said playfully.

"No" I said with a sweet smile.

"Oh dear then I guess you won't be interested in my rather large stash of drink then will you?" He asked waggling his eyebrows.

"Ok let's make a pinky" I said and we both turned to face each other and held our hands up with all our fingers tucked into fists with just our pinky fingers stretched out "I'll tell you what's wrong and then we will get nice and drunk. Ok?" He nodded eagerly and we locked our pinky fingers together.

"Ok so you know I've moved out because I came home and my parents were just swinger right there with another couple" We both shuddered.

"Wow, that's some serious shit…" He crinkled his eyebrows and I continued.

"And because of Emmett being away from home so much and Edward always being with Bella its why I don't like" I paused not wanting to say it.

"Eat?" He asked.

I chewed my lip and nodded.

"I thought it might just be better to stay away from the house with Jasper because it's like they want me –"Seth cut me off.

"WE WANT YOU ALICE!"

"I know I know" I said in an attempt to relax Seth's highly concerned face "But yeah that's basically why I'm not at home and I was really just calm and happy from the time I've spent with Jasper until a few minutes ago when I realised that I'd have to explain all that to Emmett and Edward"

"Bummer" He said and I rested my head on his shoulder.

We sat there for a while watching everyone enjoying themselves on the beach. I spotted Jacob and Jasper sat round the fire with cans of bear in their hands talking and smiling.

"Time to get completely smashed?" Seth asked.

"I think so" I replied laughing.

It never took much to get me drunk and only slightly more to get Seth drunk too so it wasn't too long until we were lying in a hidden sand dune drunkenly slurring our words.

**Yepp yepp yepp. **

**I know it's taken me ages to update but I've been super busy with school and everything… Deadlines and exams and all that jazz. **

**So next chapter will be from Jaspers point of view and will be quite short….**

**Also a thanks to everyone whos put this story on alert and everything, and to everyone who has review its really appreciated. Thanks guys **


	27. Chapter 27

**Ok so while I have the chance I thought, why not update again? So yeah here I am, why not update again? **

**So this chapter is from Jaspers point of view ok?**

**JPOV.**

It had been almost two hours since I'd seen Alice… I wasn't too worried after an hour or so but I started to worry slightly when she didn't return back for food but I guess she must have still been full from before… And I knew her brothers were here somewhere as well and they were suppose to be speaking to her I think…

I let her be for a while longer till it was almost ten when Edward and another really tall buff guy came over. I guessed this buff guy was her brother Emmett.

"Hey Jasper" Edward said sitting down next to me "You seen Alice?"

"I saw her a while ago but I thought she'd wondered off with you guys" I bit my lip slightly worried now but Edward, Emmett and Jacob just laughed.

"I bet any money her and Seth found a stash of drink somewhere" Jacob said smiling and shaking his head. I couldn't quite tell if he was joking or not.

"At parties Alice and Seth end up slightly tipsy or rather smashed" Edward explained still looking amused.

Part of my somewhere felt slightly angry at them. It's like the eating disorder she had didn't quite click with them, I don't know if it's because my dad's a doctor or I'm just over protective over Alice but when you're as thin and feeble as Alice is at the moment drinking is a very bad idea.

"We should probably go find then anyway I need words with her-"Edward cut Emmett off.

"Well yeah, we'll have lovely words with a drunken Alice" He rolled his eyes.

"Mhmm, point taken. Well we need to sort this madness out and find out exactly what's going on…" Edward trailed off at looked at me.

"She's living with you right?" I nodded and took a sip from my beer.

"She is alright and everything, right?" I didn't nod this time but thought about a proper answer that I could give to her protective brothers and Jacob who might as well be her brother…

"Well you guys know about the weight stuff right?" I asked not wanting to take any of them by surprise by what was coming next.

"Kinda" Both Emmett and Edward looked shifty despite the fact that only Emmett answered the question.

"I guessed and tried to speak to her but" He paused looking up at the sky then back down at the floor "you know what it's like trying to talk to Alice about something you can't prove"

"But you can prove this because since I left she's lost about 20 lbs" Emmett's voice changed from up tight to soft "It's not like she was a normal weight to begin with she was always thin… but she looked healthy and slim not like she does now…." He ran his hand through his hair.

"Well yeah" I continued "Ages ago she confessed to bulimia but since I've been keeping an eye on her and I think she might me ano- anor-"

"Anorexic?" Edward said grimly.

"Yeah" My voice was shallow.

There was a silence then where I swear I could hear Alices wind chime like laughter from far away.

"So what are we going to do now?" Jacob asked "She's like" He thought for a moment "ill"

"Well it's not an excuse but, I don't live with her anymore so there's not much I can do…"

Edward looked around at us seeking an answer.

"It's not an excuse but neither I nor Jacob lives with her" Emmett said before looking at me "I think it's down to you mate" He joked.

"Well I've made her eat" Jacob, Edward and Emmett looked at me concerned "I didn't force feed her or anything" I said putting my hands up in my defence.

"Good because if anything happens to her-"Emmett started.

"Yes thankyou Emmett I'm sure you'll knock the living day lights out of him. We know ok" Edward shut him up. What Emmett said hadn't fazed me; if I was in his possession I would have said the same thing.

"So do you have a plan?" I looked at Jacob questioningly "To get Alice eating and healthy again?"

"Well I was thinking if just being in a different house and under different circumstances might help" I thought about it "But she still wasn't eager to eat. And so it takes a while to persuade her"

"But she does eat right?" Emmett asked worriedly.

"Yeah she does" I sighed "Just not much" I ran a hand through my hair and stood up.

"And if nothing else works" I said turning to them "I'm going to speak to my father about getting her into the hospital or something" I thought for a minute "My dad's a doctor, Doctor Cullen"

Something clicked in Emmett's face.

"He was doctor when" Edward burst into laughter "That time she vaulted the stairs" Edward, Emmett and Jacob seemed to remember and all laughed.

"Oh and when she got her pinky finger stuck in that darn radiator" Jacob said laughing.

"And they had to remove the radiator from the wall" Emmett added laughing.

"Well, I'll speak to you guys later" I said smiling "I need to go and find Alice she needs to eat"

"If she is with Seth she'll be in the dunes" Jacob gestured behind him towards the large stretch of sand dunes behind us.

"Good luck with that" Emmett called after me laughing.

I ran my hand through my hair thinking about everything that had just been said. I decided to give it a week or two before taking her to my father or into the hospital.

I was walking in and out of the sand dunes listening for Alice angel like voice. I had almost completed my search of the dunes when I reached the peak height of one and looked out towards the rock pools near the sea.

I could see a small figure in a familiar parka with a bottle by her side.

I rubbed my head with my hand and contemplated looking after a drunken Alice, Just the thought of it worried me.

It didn't take long for me to walk close to the figure and I was wrong. It wasn't Alice, it was Seth.

"Urmm Seth, what are you doing in Alice's coat?" I asked not even wanting to know the answer.

"We swapped" He said grinning up at me.

"Right well, you know where she is?"

"Somewhere" He gestured drunkenly behind him "There"

I shook my head and proceeded to follow his precise directions of "there" to search the rocky area with the clear pools of water.

The sight that met my eyes worried me more than anyone could have guessed.

Alice was sat with no shoes on and Seth's jacket with her feet dangling into one of the deepest clear pools. She was in right up to her knees.

"Alice" I said softly kneeing next to her and holding her up so there wasn't a chance of the rest of her slipping into the pool. I shuddered at the thought.

I looked at her face after she didn't respond and I was just in time to see her big eyes close and she slumped against my shoulder. Great.

I scooped her up with ease trying not to think about how little she weighed in my arms. Her head rested against my chest and I carried her the less busy way round to the quiet area I'd been sat in with Jacob, Emmett and Edward.

They were still sat round the warm fire when I came round the corner to the opening with Alice in my arms.

They stood up immediately despite looking less worried about the situation then I felt.

"She was sat in a rock pool" I said simply.

They all nodded.

"I'll get her some dry stuff…" Jacob disappeared towards the house.

"I'll get her some water and something to eat so we can try and sober her up" Edward murmured disappearing in the opposite direction to Jacob.

I sat down on one of the rugs with my back resting against a log that was being used as a bench round the fire. I placed Alice down in front of me so she was leaning against my chest. She nestled into me till she was sat between my legs.

I stroked her hair lovingly.

"Alice?" I rubbed her arm hoping for an answer.

"Mhmm" Put my arms round her in hope of warming her up and Emmett sat down next to me looking at Alice slightly concerned.

"Jasper?" Her voice sounded horse and shallow like her throat was raw.

"Yeah?" I asked back.

"I've got crabs"

"What?" Emmett was in quiet hysterical laughter.

"I've got crabs"

"No baby you haven't got crabs" I said smiling and moving her sea soaked hair out her face,

"I've got crabs on my feet" I looked at her confused and her eyes met mine "they are stuck to my feet"

I looked down at her little feet and she was right. I snorted and laughed quietly.

"I'll get those off for you Ali" Emmett said before trying to prise the three crabs off her feet. He succeeded and tossed them away from us so they couldn't re-attach to Alices feet.

Jacob and Edward got back at the same time.

"Right I've got a pair of sweats that Alice left here a month or so ago, one of my old T-shirts, some odd socks she left the other week and a blanket" Jacob put them down next to me.

"I got a cheese sandwich and a bottle of water" Edward said sitting down next to us.

"Ugh" Emmett groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

"What?" Jacob asked.

"How the heck are we going to get her changed?" Emmett said and the rest of us groaned. I might be her boyfriend but I don't feel comfortable getting her changed in front of her brothers and best friend.

"I'll go get Bella" Edward said before disappearing again.

Alice coughed, and then she coughed again before bursting into a coughing fit. Her eyes were open and they looked all big and scared. If it wasn't for the situation then I would have told her how cute her eyes looked, but it wasn't really appropriate.

I rubbed her back and Emmett handed her the bottle of water.

She took a few sips before attempting to drink deeply from the bottle. I wouldn't let her though just in case she couldn't hold it down.

"Hey, hey Alice" I said softly pulling the bottle away "I don't want to puke that up in a minute because you can't hold it down ok?"

She went to nod but her head must've felt heavy because she instead of the fluid nod movement her head drooped and rested on my chest.

"You sure know how to look after a drunken Alice" Jacob laughed.

"Well I've never had any practise" I said while trying to ease Alice into a more comfortable position.

Edward returned soon after with Bella, a average looking brown haired girl. She was taller then Alice but had a much bigger figure.

"Awh" She laughed at Alice before picking up the pile of clothes and lifting Alice up to a risky standing up position that I wouldn't have risked.

"Come on Alice let's get you changed" She took Alice towards the nearest brush.

I rubbed my hands into my face before looking up.

"You do a good job looking after her" Edward said.

"I try my best" I ran my hand through my hair.

"Well that's all you can do" Edward said smiling.

"I'm gonna go find Seth" Jacob said standing up "I'd say tell Alice I said bye but I don't really think she'd take much notice" He laughed.

"I don't know we might still be here when you get back, Seth isn't that far away he's by the rock pools" I said towards Jacobs slowly darkening figure as his walked away towards the rock pools.

I started to tear Alice's cheese sandwich up into tiny bite size pieces for Alice. This seemed to fascinate Emmett and Edward.

"Honestly mate, you really do do a good job at looking after Alice" Edward said still watching me tear up the sandwich. I just laughed.

"Come on Alice" I heard Bella saying and looked over to where Alice and Bella were. Alice stumbled but Bella managed to hold her up until Emmett and Edward made their way over.

Emmett wrapped a hand round Alices little shoulders and lifted her easily and brought her to sit down beside me.

I watched Emmett attempt to look after his sister as Edward sat close with his arm wrapped round Bella.

"Ali you gotta eat now ok?" He said pushing her stray hair out of her face,

"But I'm not hungry" She slurred everything word before coughing and swaying ominously.

"Alice we need you to eat so you can sober up and you can go back to Jaspers" Emmett explained to her. She looked up at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh I can't do this" Emmett said, part of him looked hurt that he couldn't help his little sister "Jasper?" he gestured to me helplessly.

I reached out and pulled Alice onto my lap.

"I'll help Jacob with Seth" He said standing up and rubbing the back of his head before going after Jacob.

"Alice you need to eat some of this sandwich so that we can go to my house ok baby?" I said quietly. She just gazed up at me for a second.

"Can I have a kiss?" She asks playfully still slurring.

"Will you eat some of this sandwich?" I ask cocking my head and smiling at her sweetness.

"Yesss" He slurred very badly on the s.

I lent close to her and gave her a little kiss.

"Love you Jasper"

"Love you to Alice now will you please eat some sandwich?"

**Ok, so I said a short chapter? Yeah it was pretty long. I'm on a roll at the moment I updated yesterday then I woke up really early this morning I might even write another chapter…. **

**I might write from Jaspers point of view again… Not sure yet tell me what you think **


	28. Chapter 28

**Half and half with the points of views this time. A nice long chapter for you guys to feast your eyes on **

**JPOV.**

"Jasper she needs to eat all of it to soak up the alcohol" I was arguing with Edward about the amount of cheese sandwich Alice was being made to eat.

"She won't be able to hold it down" I insisted. I didn't want Alice to hurl whatever nasty drink she'd been drinking and cheese sandwich everywhere.

"Jasper I know you don't want her to get sick but she'll be passed out it'll be fine" I bit my lip so that I didn't respond that Alice being passed out wasn't fine at all. I focused my attention on Alice who was resting against me chewing on her last piece of sandwich.

"Alice" I murmured when she finished swallowing what was in her mouth.

"Mhmm" She sounded weak which wasn't good.

"You gotta eat more of your sandwich ok?" She burrowed her head into my t-shirt instead of answering "Just for me?" I asked sweetly and she gave a soft nod.

I stroked her hair softly as she finished the rest of her sandwich while Edward and Bella smooched not far off and Emmett and Jacob were roasting marshmallows.

Alice groaned slightly and shuddered. I reached out and got the folded blanket from beside me and wrapped it round Alice then stood up with her in my arms.

"Jasper I think" Then before she could finish she collapsed completely into my arms. I chuckled and turned to speak to the others.

"I'm gonna get Alice home she looks abit…" I looked at her and thought for a moment "Smashed" They laughed and I said my goodbyes before turning to walk back towards the sand dunes and the forest.

"Hey Jasper" Edward said catching up to us "Didn't you guys walk?"

"Yeah" I said as Alice moved slightly.

"Well I can give you a lift back if you want" He offered.

"If that's ok with you" I smiled.

We walked back in silence towards Edwards silver Volvo.

"So what are you going to do with her when you get in?" Edward asked as I strapped myself into the middle seat in the back and Alice into the one on the right in the back.

"I don't know" I laughed "Urmm probably put her in bed and get her some water and a bucket"

"Yeah that's probably a good idea" We both laughed and I gave him the directions to my house.

We were almost there when I felt a yank on my shirt, I looked down. It was Alice with a small fist full of my t-shirt in one of her hands loosely.

"Jasper" She murmured hoarsely.

"What's wrong" I asked immediately. Her face was paler then usual and she looked slight frantic. Her breath started to get faster and I rubbed her arm "Alice calm down" I wrapped my arms right round her.

"Jasper am gonna-" The hand that had a fistful of my shit in had been flexed out so she could push herself away from me before she puked over the back of the seat in front.

"ALICE!" Edward bellowed.

"Shush" I hissed at him while trying to comfort a now crying Alice.

"I'm sorry Edward I didn't mean to get sick in your lovely Volvo…" Alice said between sobs.

The car came to a holt and I jumped out the puke-free side of the car before attempting to pull Alice out without letting her put her feet in her own sick.

She was standing up but learning against me with one of my arms wrapped round her to keep her upright.

I opened Edwards's door with my free arm.

"I'll pay for you interior to be cleaned" I looked at his face that looked like it had been frozen since Alice had been sick "I'm sorry" I said feeling slightly guilty on Alices behalf.

"S-sorry E-Edward" Alice manage to choke out between sobs and I rubbed her arm.

"Its o-ok I'll call in tomorrow with Emmett" He said slightly hoarsely before shutting the door.

I walked Alice up to the front door slowly before unlocking it and squeezing through it with Alice pressed tight to my side. She really is quite tiny.

I shut the door quietly behind me so that I didn't disturb the neighbours because it was almost 1am and if my parents found out of one of the neighbours we would have a lot of questions to answer.

I looked at Alice it was hard to tell if she was conscious or not and in the end I decided it was too hard to tell and either way I'd end up carrying her upstairs.

As I swept her legs up from the floor to join the top half of her in my arms she murmured something and wriggled slightly before lying perfectly still.

"Alice?" I asked hesitantly as I began walking up the stairs.

"Mhmm …Jasper?"

"Yeah…" I was glad she was conscious now.

"Where are we?" She asked with her eyes still closed.

"My house" I had a slight smile on my face now.

"Oh ok" She paused for a minute and opened one eye "Don't make me stay on my own tonight"

"I won't don't worry" I reassured her and tightened my arms round her like a strange sort of hug which I think she understood because she smiled.

I walked through my open bedroom door and placed her on my bed with her back, neck and head resting against the headboard. I quickly changed my jeans to sweatpants and put an old t-shirt on before climbing onto my bed without moving Alice who I wasn't sure was conscious.

"Alice?" I asked tentatively.

"Shh" She whisper before slipping down the headboard and wriggling into the bed covers "Sleep" She giggled with a little smile. I snuggled down beside her and switched out the light.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?" My voice was muffled by her hair because my head was resting on her shoulder with my arms softly placed round her waist.

"Whys the room spinning?" I felt my forehead crease.

"Baby the soon isn't spinning"

"Mhmm well it looks like it is to me" I leant on one of my elbows so I could look down at her "Its giving me a headache I don't like it…" She covered her eyes with her tiny hands and burrowed into her pillow as I relaxed back to lying with my arm round her.

"Just try and sleep it off ok?" She didn't reply for a moment. Then her hand found mine and it was enough said.

She did make me ponder did Alice. She was very strange which was what made us such a bizarre couple. She was mad and I was pretty normal….

Especially in school because Alice although only hanging out with her tight knit group of friends was quite popular, and I wasn't so much popular but my friends were.

I thought about this for a while before Alices deep breaths lulled out all thought and I drifted off…

**Alices POV.**

My I opened my eyes I immediately wished I hadn't. The light was bright, brighter then was nice for my eyes. I blinked a few more times trying to get my eyes to adjust.

I just ended up grumbling to myself slightly before turning onto my front.

Seth and his stupid silly stash of drinks I thought while burrowing my head into a pillow.

I heard a low chuckle from somewhere behind me and I rolled over immediately which sent my head all funny…

"Morning" Jasper said with his pearly whites showing slightly between his curled lips.

"Yo" I said taking in his appearance properly.

He was wearing the top form the night before with his old sweats and was sat on his side of the bed with a book in his hands. I couldn't quite make my eyes focus on the cover to read what it was.

"You ok" He asked with a slight crinkle between eyebrows.

"Yeah" I said closing my eyes and snuggling into the duvet again. I reached for his hand and I heard him put his book down as he wriggled down so he was lying next to me under the covers.

"What do you want to do today?" He asked wrapping his arms round me.

"Just stay like this I don't want to risk getting out of bed" He laughed softly.

"Why ever not?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Because it's nice and comfy and I'm with you and I love you" I paused "I love you lots" I thought for a second "and if I get up I'll probably feel real nasty and get sick in your lovely bathroom …again"

"I love you lots too and this is nice" He nuzzled his head into my shoulder "And I wouldn't worry about getting sick in my bathroom if I were you" We both laughed then I stopped because it hurt my throat from the drinking… I just coughed a little bit instead.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah" My voice sounded weird, almost rusty.

"You don't sound it" He pushed up from the bed and before I knew it he was knelt opposite from me on the floor so his head was slightly above mine.

I smiled up at him and pulled the covers over my head very fast so he didn't have a chance to stop me. He half grumbled and half laughed before climbing over to his half of the bed and slowly burrowing under the covers next to me.

First his hand then his arm, till he was lying next to me.

"You know when you were a kid" He stated thoughtfully.

"Yeah" I was concentrating on his beautiful face as he spoke.

"Did you ever use to climb between the duvet and the cover?" He turned and looked at me questioningly.

"All the time" My voice sounded shallow and we smiled at each other before moving to climb between the sheets.

It wasn't long before we were both lying, sandwiched between the bare duvet and the thin blue cotton which was Jaspers duvet cover.

I could hear my shallow breathing.

"I use to do this when I woke up too early" Jasper stated again.

"I use to do it when I wanted to think about something from a different point of view" I stated back.

We lay there in silence again for a while. It was kinda nice to see the distorted light from the window through the blue covers. I could see why, as a child, I thought it was a different view on the world. Because that's what it was, it was a different situation and things seemed less real.

"Ali?" I murmured a response still deep in thought.

"Did you ever have weird dreams as a child?" This made me wonder and I turned on my side to face what I thought would be his face looking directly at me.

But he was still lying flat on his back. This made me more curious.

"Kinda" I said thinking back to my dreams.

"I use to get really weird dreams" He paused and I listened waiting for him to continue but he didn't so I rolled I reached out and touched my hand on his.

"Jasper?" My whisper was horse and sore again.

"Yeah" He seemed to snap out of whatever trance-like state he had been in.

"What kind of weird dreams?" I was playing with his fingers now while trying to make eye contact with him which was getting exceeding difficult seen as he was perfect at deflecting my attempts.

"Just weird" He began to move "The sort that stick with you" I squeezed his hand and for a moment neither of us said anything because nothing needed to be said yet.

"We should go and get breakfast" He said before checking is watch "Or lunch" He smiled at me.

"Or brunch?" I beamed back at him and we wiggled out the duvet cover and walked downstairs …well no actually I tottered tentatively with the support of Jasper. I was never good on my feet after I'd been drinking….

**Sorry it's taken so long to get this up, I have honestly been so super busy! **


	29. Chapter 29

**JPOV.**

After talking to Alice's brothers last night I'd decided to give it a week till I went to my father about getting her help. I couldn't force Alice to eat, she'd have to help herself if she wanted to get better and if not, I'd tell my father because it's what's best for her.

**APOV.**

My hangover was vile, I greatly regretted the amount I'd drank last night. Firstly, I knew I'd have made a fool of myself not that I know what I'd done ...yet. And secondly I'd wanted to spend time with Jasper, Jacob and my brothers but I guess that didn't happen.

"Is there anything I can get you?" I was sat at the breakfast bar while Jasper wondered round the kitchen, I had my head in my folded arms on the counter.

"Just coffee please" I looked up to see if he'd make me eat, he just paused for a moment and carried on.

I felt dizzy from lifting my head and put it back in my folded arms. It was irritating me that I hadn't found any scales in Jaspers house yet, I felt thinner but I couldn't find any way of knowing if I really was.

I heard Jasper sit opposite me and put two things down on the table, I looked up through my dizzy spell and I could make out him pushing a mug towards me and I guess he was eating cereal.

It took a while for my vision to clear which was worrying, I rubbed my forehead and took a sip of my coffee.

"I have some homework to do, I guess we should do our homework now then have the evening to do what we like" I nodded, things were quieter and I felt like he wasn't happy with me, I wasn't happy with myself after last night.

I reached across the table and took his free hand, he stopped eating and looked at me. He looked sad, like he was keeping something to himself.

"I'm sorry about last night" He looked confused "I should have stayed with you and eaten with you and spoken to my brothers and introduced you to Emmett properly-"

"It's fine honestly, you had to blow off some steam" He smiled "Just next time, try and blow off steam that doesn't end with you throwing up in Edwards car" I nearly spat out my coffee.

"WHAT?" My voice sounded weird, weak. Jaspers smile flickered and I swallowed, how did my voice come out sounding like that?

"Urm yeah, Edward gave us a lift back and you threw up in the back seat" He still wasn't looking at me, I didn't say anything I just bit my lip.

I left it a moment, he still didn't look up. I slipped off the stool slowly and went upstairs, I knew he wouldn't follow. I didn't know what I'd done wrong, what I'd done that had upset him so much.

I went into Jaspers room to get my stuff form the night before and ended up cleaning his room for him, maybe he'll be less mad at me, maybe.

I went into my room and cleaned it like I had Jaspers before going to get a shower. I was halfway through shaving my legs when it finally crossed my mind why Jasper wasn't happy with me. How could I be so stupid! He was wanted me to ask for something to eat, ugh.

I finished off shaving my legs and got ready as quickly as I could pulling on my mis match underwear, socks with monkeys on, dark blue skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and a burgundy zip jacket.

I left my room, hair still well, and knocked on Jaspers door.

"Alice you don't need to kn-" I ran through the door and jumped onto the bed. I was eager for Jasper not to be mad at me anymore, it wasn't even like I was avoiding eating I was just more concerned about the night before rather than eating.

Jasper caught me as I jumped onto the bed. He'd also showered and was wearing black skinny jeans and a plain grey t-shirt, his socks were odd one was dark green and the other purple.

"Al?" He wasn't too sure what I was doing, neither was I though.

"Later, can we cook dinner together?" His face lit up at the mention of an interest in food from me, I smiled at him eagerly.

"Yeah, great! What d'you want to make?" I thought quickly thinking of low fat vegetarian meals.

"Noodles" I kept smiling eagerly and got more comfy on his knee. He'd cheered up a lot now.

"Do you want anything now, it's a while till dinner time..." I didn't let my smile falter but he was asking a lot, but I wanted to keep Jasper happy.

We both took our homework down to the dinner table and I sat eating a low fat strawberry yoghurt while doing some of my assignments. I always got through my work quickly, even with Jasper around I managed to get my two English and one history assignment done in a matter of hours.

Although small twinge in my forehead had started to come along and the more I worked the worse it got. I was tired of feeling terrible all the time. I tried to forget about it and carry on.

Jasper also worked quickly. But I noticed out the corner of my eye he kept looking up at me, hoping to catch my eye. While doing my work I was also mentally preparing myself for not only eating a meal but eating a meal in the presence of Jasper. This made my headache worse.

After finishing the notes for biology I stretched slowly and finally met Jaspers gaze "Are you done?" I said softly, he nodded and looked up at me as I rubbed my head.

"What's wrong?" Jasper was scanning my face.

I liked that he cared so much, but I can't have him constantly worrying. It wasn't fair on him.

"Just a bit tired" I smiled at him and squeezed his hand "And now all our works done we have the rest of the day"

We ended up watching 500 Days of Summer together on the sofa my headache was still bad, I wasn't aware I'd fallen asleep but Jasper woke me up at the end of the film. I still had my headache.

**JPOV.**

I woke Alice at the end of the film, she'd said she was feeling tired so I thought it kindest to let her sleep. I was impressed she'd asked to help me cook, she was eager and for once showing some interest in food.

"Hey, Alice?" I nudged her softly.

"Mhmmm?" She moved her arms and I had to grab hold of them so she didn't elbow me. I could have fit one of my hands round both her arms they were so thin...

"Jasper what are you doing?" She looked at me half confused and half annoyed, she wasn't the type of girl who'd be impressed with a guy physically controlling her.

"If you'd have moved your elbows back anymore you'd have elbowed me in the ribs and face" I said with a slight smile on my face, all annoyance vanished and she giggled.

"Sorry Jasper" She wrinkled her forehead and rubbed her head like she had before I was about to ask if she was ok but she spoke first "What time is it?" Her smile was back, no sign that anything was wrong.

"Almost six, we should start making dinner" Alice had shuffled her way onto my knee by this point. Her brow wrinkled again and I reached to feel her head, I was starting to think she might be ill again...

She grabbed my hand before I had a chance to get to her head.

"Let's make dinner!" She hopped up still with my hand in hers with a big smile on her face. Alice was being weird today and I'm not sure what it was, I'm sure I'd figure it out later.

Alice danced into the kitchen and I followed behind her.

"So, what kinda noodles should we make?" I was starting to believe the smile.

"Urmm, we could do like a stir fry with some veg and noodles and we have a jar of sweet and sour sauce we can put on it?" She nodded excitedly.

"Perfect! What d'you want me to do then?" I met her smile and got her to cut up the peppers, carrots and onions as I searched for the jar of sauce and water chestnuts.

"So your parents aren't back till tomorrow right?" Alice was talking while she chopped, she seem very chatty, I liked it but considering how things had been this morning it seemed a little weird.

"Yeah they've gone to visit some friends in Canada" I said absentmindedly as I searched the cupboards.

She continued to ask questions about my parents and their friends in Canada, she'd asked about my visits their and I'd just told a rather long story about a trip there from years ago. I'd also finally found the water chestnuts and sauce I turned round to see Alice with her head in her hands I dropped both items, forgetting that the jar would smash. I was by her side immediately.

Alice looked up at the smash, she was crying and her eyes were really red and puffy.

"What did you drop the sauce for?" I looked at her confused. She was sat there puffy eyed crying and wanted to know why I dropped the sauce?

"Shh, what's wrong?" She burst out laughing. Ok, I was confused. I cupped her face in my hands searching her eyes. She just laughed again and pulled my hands away holding them on her lap.

She'd been sat at the breakfast bar while cutting the vegetables.

"Jasper nothings wrong" She laughed again I was still confused "Onions just really, really make my eyes water" I rolled my head back and chuckled, I could hear her giggle.

She put her thumb on my chin and guided my face down to hers.

"You know Jasper, you really need to stop worrying" I sighed, she kissed me lightly and then pulled away slightly as if to wait for me to kiss her back, I did. After a moment she pulled away giving me a very serious look.

"Now Jasper, what are we going to do about our dinner?" We both laughed, I looked at the mess the sauce had made. Maybe Alice was right, I should stop worrying so badly it probably wasn't making her feel any better.

"We could get take out, my parents always leave money when they're away" Her smile quivered, take out would be a big step for her "If it's too much for you-"

"No, we'll get take out" I beamed, this could only mean good things for Alice right?

**OR MAYBE NOT! **

**O yeah, hey it's me again! Not uploaded in like literally two years or something but I'm back! And I am going to finish this story! **

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.**

**...Or I'll take ages to upload hehehehehehehe**


	30. Chapter 30

**APOV.**

I could not believe Jasper had dropped the sauce! I DID NOT WANT TO GET TAKE OUT! Eating a meal, a normal healthy meal was hard enough. Getting take out was more than a challenge, but I had to do this to keep Jasper happy. I didn't want him to worry anymore.

I ordered vegetable chow mein and he ordered sweet and sour prawns with egg fried rice. I still had my headache but again, I didn't want Jasper fussing over me or dropping anymore jars...

"There's nothing on" Jasper sighed as he channel flicked. I was learnt on his chest with one of his arms round me, I was playing with his hand not really watching the screen.

"Alice?" I looked up at him.

"Jasper?" I answered softly he probably only just heard it was that quiet.

He opened his mouth to say something but as he did my phone vibrated in my back pocket and I squeeled jumping up off the sofa very quickly before I burst out laughing.

"What the hell just happened" Jasper asked through a smile.

"I got a text message and my phone was on vibrate" I said pulling my phone out my back pocket.

Jasper took my free hand and pulled me back towards the sofa and onto his knee. He slipped his arms round my waist as I checked my message.

Mum.

Where are you?

I knew Jasper had read it over my shoulder and without even asking for advice on what to reply with I messaged her back.

Me.

Not swinging that's for sure

"ALICE!" Jasper immediately tried to grab my phone off me to try and stop me sending the message, I was too quick. He easily wrestled me so that my back was flat on the sofa and I was between his legs "Alice give me the phone" He was very close to my face now, I tilted my head up and breathed a little seductive. It worked, he un tensed and kissed me.

I took my opportunity and easily pulled my legs out from between his and wrapped them round his waist, he pulled me up so we were both in a sitting position. I pulled away from the kiss and looked into his big eyes.

I pushed him down so I was on top of him now "Jazz, there is no chance you're getting my phone off me my mother deserves-" He started tickling me, I am quite literally one of the most tickalish people ever.

I squirmed and giggled, he only stopped when he'd manage to move me back beneath him. I was almost crying begging him to stop through my giggles.

I was almost panting, being tickled does weird things to me... My headache had got worse. I had to look away from Jasper to wrinkle my forehead and try and rub it slyly so he wouldn't notice.

Luckily the door bell rang, take out was here. Jasper jumped up to answer the door.

While he collected the chinese I quickly set the dining table for us and got two glasses of water for us too and plates.

It didn't take long to dish out the food onto plates and settle down at the table. We began to eat.

"So, on a serious note" Jasper said making eye contact with me, I looked away, I always avoided eye contact when eating "What are you going to say to your parents?"

"I have no idea, my Mom didn't reply to her text" I poked my noodles "So I guess they're as unsure of what to say as I am" I continued to play with my food only eating small pieces of the vegetables in it.

"Well sooner or later you'll have to talk to them you know that right?" I nodded not wanting to think about it "Alice?"

"Yes?" I didn't look up from my plate.

"Eat" My head was burning, this headache was vile I didn't want to eat. I looked up at him sucking in my cheeks. His eyes just looked full of worry, I didn't want him to worry anymore.

Reluctantly, I started spinning noodles round my fork and eating them. I didn't glance up at Jasper and hoped he'd stopped watching me.

"So I'm guessing you haven't spoke to Edward or Emmett yet either?" I shook my head, these topics were not making me want to eat.

"They really need to know what's going on" I continued chewing my noodles "You should really sort everything out before our finals, we'll start revising soon and it wouldn't be good for you to have all this-" He stopped talking when I put my fork down and gave him a very bored look.

"Jasper, stop worrying" He opened his mouth to say something "NO! Shhh! Honestly Jasper, things are getting better and everything is going to be fine I can just tell" He seemed to relax slightly.

"Are you sure?" I reached across the table and took his free hand.

"Yes I'm sure" I smiled back "I've managed this far haven't I? And things are only getting better at the moment" He smiled back and we drifted into nice conversation about the possibility of going on holiday after graduation.

Jasper kept encouraging me to eat and I ended up eating just over half of the massive portion on my plate, he finished his.

"Done?" I nodded and Jasper took our plates and emptied the remains of mine into the bin before putting our cutlery and plates into the dishwasher then returned for the empty glasses.

I was so full I felt sick. Sick as in I felt sick, as in I needed to stick my fingers down my throat and make myself vomit kinda sick. I put my arms round my full stomach, I felt so fat it was disgusting. I couldn't be around Jasper when I felt this fat and self conscious.

"D'you want to watch a film?" Jasper asked as he sat back opposite me.

"Yeah urmm, d'you mind if I put my pyjamas on first? Then I can get comfy" I smiled and decided he'd put his pyjamas on too, by pyjamas he just meant sweats and an old t-shirt.

I went into my room making sure I shut the door properly I quickly grabbed some red pyjamas with black cats on and ran into the bathroom.

I slowly kneeled down in front of the toilet and stuck my fingers down my throat. I was careful not to make any noise or gag. It didn't take long.

When I was done I flushed, washed my hands and brushed my teeth. I left the bathroom so Jasper wouldn't know I'd been in there with the door shut and locked.

My throat was burning burning and I was shaking like mad, I tried to control myself as I put my pyjama pants on, Jasper knocked on the door. I smiled.

"Jasper you don't have to knock, come in" My voice sounded sore, it felt it too as my throat burned worse than ever.

He came in as I took my top off to put my pyjama top on. He shut the door behind him and moved quickly over to me.

I knew my belly wouldn't look bloated because the contents of my dinner was now flushed away, but I breathed in nether the less.

He put his hands on my waist, I tried not to shake so much as he bent down and kissed me. I kissed him back wanting to take my mind off what I'd just done and to take Jaspers mind off worrying about everything.

He picked me up and picked me onto the bed climbing over me and kissing me more passionately. My body moved towards his, he had one arm in my hair and the other on my shoulder. He moved his hand slowly down my should and onto my shaking arm. He stopped kissing me immediately.

"What's wrong?" He pulled away and moving to sit next to me. I put my hands over my face.

"I'm just a bit chilli that's all" This was partly true it was kinda cold, especially because i didn't have a top on.

Jasper had been thinking a similar thing because he picked up my pyjama shirt form the end of the bed, he basically dressed me and did the buttons up for me.

When he was done I learned my head onto his chest.

"You ok?" I nodded and looked up at him, I wish I hadn't my head began to rush and my vision blinded by dizziness with the burning in my throat and the banging headache I just slumped back against his chest "Alice?"

"Stop worrying Jasper, I'm just really tired" I kissed his neck slightly, head still spinning "Can we watch a film in your room?"

"Yeah lets go" When he moved I flopped onto the bed, head still spinning.

"I'm just really tired" I said before he could say anything, I rolled over so I was looked up at him, my vision was back.

"How can you possibly be this tired at half past 8?" He said with a raised eyebrow and half smile.

"Eating makes me sleeeeeepyyyy" I reached out for Jasper and he pulled me up onto my feet. This was partly true, the dizziness/headache/burning throat were making me very tired.

I tottered next to him into his room and snuggled into his bed as he looked through his films, I felt really giddy and light headed. Woah...

"Any preference to what we watch?" Jasper murmured as he continued to look through his films. I thought for a minute before propping myself onto to my elbows.

"D'you have Jurassic Park?" My head was titled to the side. He turned round with a small confused smile on his face.

"Urmm yeah why Jurassic Park though?" He pulled the dvd out and began to put it on.

"I don't know it really makes me laugh" He laughed as the film started playing and he turned the lights out.

He slid into bed next to me and wrapped his arms round me, I put my head on his chest and he started playing with my hair.

"So what exactly makes you laugh in this film?" Jasper murmured after a few moments.

"I'm not sure, I just find the two kids hilarious" My voice sounded more sore though my throat felt just as bad as before. Jasper chuckled.

"I get what you mean, are you starting to get a sore throat?" I restrained myself from rolling my eyes.

"Urm, maybe" I could feel him start to move "Don't worry about it Jazz, everyone gets a little sick every now and again I'll be fine"

"Alice, I'm allowed to worry about you if you're sick you know" I looked at his face from where I was laying on his chest, he looked at me too.

"I know you are, but I don't like feeling like you're constantly having to look after me it's not fair on you, even if you don't mind I just feel like a child" I bit my lip.

"Sorry Ali" I slapped him softly he almost laughed "What was that for?" he mused playfully.

"For saying you're sorry, you don't need to be you're just trying to do what you think is best I know that but I just can't be looked after all the time I don't think it's fair on you" He didn't say anything just kissed me softly on the forehead.

**Yayyyy, another upload. **

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	31. Chapter 31

**The 85th review irritated me a little and just to clarify, I've said Alice has an eating disorder. Like, an eating disorder is an issue with food and everyones is different. I know SOME alcohol has a lot of calories in but when I had an eating disorder there were times I'd have the calories from alcohol just to get away from everything for an evening. Alice hasn't binged on food in this story at all, but she has drunk alcohol, she has her own way of binging. So yeah... BACK TO THE STORY.**

I woke at 5am, I could feel my throat burning. I tried to swallow but my mouth was dry. I was too warm and too cold at the same time.

I un tangled myself form Jaspers arms and dizzily mad my way to the bathroom. My head was spinning, I could barely see my vision was blurred by bright lights and weird shapes.

I poured myself a glass of water and sat on the side of the bath as I drank a few long slow sips. I closed my eyes, I bet I wouldn't feel this shit if I hadn't thrown up that take out.

The sound from Jasper's room of him moving cleared my head. I slowly made my way back into the room and slid back into bed with my head still spinning. I tried to get comfy but now I was awake I didn't seem to be able to get comfy.

"Mhmm Aliceeee" Jasper mumbled and wrapped his arms round me "Why are you up so early?" His breath was warm on my neck.

"I-" My throat burned "I don't know I just woke up" I took one of Jaspers hands and clutched my throat with the other.

"Sore throat?" He pulled me closer.

"I guess" I swallowed trying to ease the pain "We should get up soon we need to pack our bags, we never got round to it last night" Jasper moaning and burrowed his head into my hair "We need to get our heads down Jazz we have finals after spring break remember"

"Mehh" He moved so I was lay on his chest, I shivered as the duvet came off a little "Cold?"

"Just a little" I looked up at him and kissed his lips "Come on, we need to get ready"

It took me longer to shower and get ready because I was so dizzy. I let my hair dry in natural waves and put on foundation, powder and mascara. I looked so out of it, I couldn't look at myself anymore.

I went to put my clothes on and saw I'd forgotten my leggings, I turned to pick some out and caught my body in the mirror.

I looked disgusting, like if the wind blew I'd blow away. I was skeletal, almost deathly thin. I'd never seen myself before like that.

I looked away and chose some socks quickly. I put on a pair of black leggings, long sleeved black top, baggy light blue netball hoodie, pink flowery socks and plain short grey ugg boots. It was a shame you couldn't see my socks today, I really liked this pair.

I packed my bag and met Jasper in the kitchen, nearly falling down the stairs in the process, what on earth is with me today?

"You took ages" Jasper looked up at me form his cereal "If you want breakfast it'll have to be quick" He looked at me watching if I'd go and get breakfast or not.

I smiled at him and went to get a yoghurt.

He seemed happy as I sat down at the table, I on the other hand felt dizzy and sick. But I was keeping Jasper happy and that's what mattered right now.

"Have you spoken to your brothers?" I shook my head a put a spoon full of yoghurt into my mouth "I think you should see Edward tonight you know, he wanted to talk to you on Saturday but you know" I nodded.

I wasn't listening properly I was just trying to keep my yoghurt down. I had two small spoons of yoghurt before push it away.

"What's wrong with the rest of it?" Jasper asked with a slight smile.

"Nothing, I just feel a bit sick" I got up and put the yoghurt tub in the bin and the spoon in the dish washer. I found it hard keeping balance because of how dizzy I was, the rest of today better not be this bad.

I turned and Jasper was stood right in front of me, I stumbled "Woah there pretty lady" He caught me "You ok?" He was looking in my eyes checking for any signs of being unwell, I just smiled.

"Stop worrying" I kissed him.

"But I can't help it" He tried learning in further, my head span. I found myself grabbing onto Jasper to stay on my feet. This was actually horrible "Alice...?"

"Head rush" I answered with my eyes still closed "Come on, we better get to school"

**You guys better get reviewing seen as they'll only be a few more chapters :) xoxo**


	32. Chapter 32

I was shaking as I tried to open the door to Jaspers car, when I finally got it open and sat down my head was spinning. It began to twinge again, today was not getting any better.

Was it really this cold today or was that just me? I was shaking like mad I could feel Jasper watching me so I gave him a weak smile, he carried on looking at me. I couldn't even work out what he was looking for it just made my head hurt even more "Come off Jazz, we'll be late" My throat was still raspy. He lent over and kissed me then started driving.

I put my head against the window in attempt to get rid of my now terrible headache. I felt worse than I had when Jasper had brought me come from school that time, this was not good.

I could feel those few spoons of yoghurt churning in my stomach, I wrapped an arm round my middle trying to ease the pain.

"You're quiet today" I was trying to cheer Jasper up, he looked kinda glum.

"I'm tired I guess, I fell asleep ages after you last night" He swirved the car to avoid crashing into another one, my stomach jolted. I could feel myself swallowing back the contents of my stomach.

"Oh right, how come?" My voice sounded shaky as well as raspy, he glanced at me.

"Your breathing was really uneven and your temperature kept changing, I was worried" He paused pulling into the school car park "You're feeling ok today though?" He parked and looked at me.

"Urm" I bit my lip, I didn't want any drama like the last time I wasn't well "Yeah, I just feel a bit sick from that yoghurt" His eyes were boring into mine, I chewed my lip.

"If you want me to take you back to my place let me know, ok?" I smiled slightly and nodded.

I felt too weird getting out the car, my legs were like jelly and my head was aching and spinning. I hated this, I hated everything about this.

Jasper was by my side with an arm round me. I was thankful for this, I guess sometimes i just can't manage "Alice?" I had my head rested on his chest, we were stood still.

"Yeah?" I looked up at him shyly.

"Are you really ok?" His eyes were full of worry.

"I think I am for now, I'll keep you posted though" He smiled and kissed me and we walked to first class which we had together, English.

Everything got worse during English, I couldn't even do my work. It took so much effort to not just slump on the table.

The bell went and everyone moving made my head spin ten times worse, I clutched Jaspers arm for support and he walked me to my lesson. I had biology and he had French, so he'd only be in the next block.

I sat down and it took a minute for the dizziness to leave my vision, hands still shaking I got my stuff out my bag and sat with my head resting on my hand.

My head thumbed, the pounding was unreal. I kept getting sharp stomach pains and slow long lasting waves of nausea. I closed my eyes hoping it would go away and no one would notice my shaking.

I checked my watch, it had been ten minutes into the lesson. I couldn't take this anymore, I needed Jasper. I needed to sort my health out once and for all, I needed help.

I raised my hand.

"Yes Alice?" The teacher had been giving an introduction to a revision system.

"May I get some fresh air, I'm not feeling too well" He nodded and I gave a small smile before tentatively standing up on my jelly legs and leaving the class room.

I walked through the hall shaking and just hoping I'd get to Jasper's class before things got any worse.

With every step I took my stomach lurched, I'd have to give in.

I ran towards the ladies and shut myself in a cubical. My body lurched as my yoghurt came back up into the toilet. I flushed and wiped my mouth on a piece of toilet role.

I'd thought I'd have felt better but I didn't I just felt worse and worse, it took me a few minutes before I had the energy to get up. I had to thumble with the lock before washing my hands and splashing my face, I'd become very warm.

I was half way across the yard when the nausea feeling came back, I couldn't deal with this. I took deep breaths and carried on towards Jaspers French room. I was stumbled when I found it.

I knocked then entered slightly.

Jasper looked straight up before I'd even spoke, I was grabbing onto the door for support "The principle asked to see Jasper" I didn't even listen to my voice I knew it would be worse. Jasper got up immediately.

"That's fine, is everything ok?" The teacher was looking at me weirdly, I just smiled and nodded. I must look awful.

Jasper looked stood in front of me blocking me from the view of the teacher and class. I gave up trying to be strong now, I have no strength left.

I practically collapsed onto Jasper, his arms were strong round me. The class hadn't seen anything it was all too quick, I'd heard the classroom door slam.

I felt barely conscious now, so much for not making Jasper worry.

"Alice? Alice?" His voice was low and worried as he rested me against a locker. His arms were supporting me so I didn't fall.

"I feel awful" My voice rasped, I sounded so weak. I tried to swallow but couldn't. I didn't have the strength to cough either. My body just shook.

**JPOV.**

I was supporting her weak body, she was so thin. Too thin.

"Jazzzz" She sounded so unbelievably weak. I tried not to panic, her head flopped onto my chest.

"Yeah, I'm here Alice what is it?" I put one arm round the whole of her tiny torso and held her head up with the other, her eyes opened slightly. She didn't look like she could see me, I was getting in more of a panic now.

"I need to be sick" I looked around wildly before spotting a bin near where we were. I moved her close to it easily, she weighed nothing to me.

She lent over the bin, I had to support her so she didn't fall in herself. She was sick into the bin, I rubbed her back with my free hand. She started to cry.

"Hey, hey Alice" I pulled her up so she was back on her feet completely "Don't cry"

"I'm sorry Jasper" She swayed like she was about to pass out. I needed to do something, get her to the hospital. A small voice in my head pointed out that's what I should have done a week ago because she wouldn't have got into this state if I had done.

"It's going to be ok Alice, I'll get you to the hospital" I kissed her forehead and her boney hands clutched onto my t-shirt.

"NO" She'd said this as loud as she could which was just above a whisper "They'll be doctors and they'll make me eat Jazz" She looked so out of it, it hurt to see her like that "They'll make me eat Jazz, please don't make me go" Her eyes met mine, even though she didn't look all there I knew they'd never had said this if she had been "I just want to be thin" This broke my heart, but I didn't have time to dwell on this as she was getting weaker and weaker.

"I'll keep you safe Ali I promise" She nodded her head like a rag doll.

I started carrying her out towards my car.

"Jazz"

"Yeah?"

"You need to put me down I need to be sick" I swallowed not even looking for somewhere for her to be sick this time, I supported her shaking body as she hurled in the middle of the car park.

She didn't revolt me, there were bigger things to I had to worry about. I waited till she was done before getting her to outside my car.

I supported her with one hand and looked for my keys with the other.

"Jasper" Her voice sounded worse, if that was possible. I had her in my arms straight away.

"Alice what's wrong" She was swaying in my arms "Alice?" i was frantic now.

"It keeps going black" I felt numb.

"Alice stay with me ok, we can sort this out you're going to be fine" I was convincing myself as well as her. Her head flopped onto my chest again "Alice" I shook her and her eyes opened "Stay with me baby, you'll be fine I promise" She nodded limply.

I gave up looking for my keys and called 911 instead. Alice was still fighting unconsciousness.

"Alice talk to me" I had her in my arms now.

"About what"

"Anything baby, anything"

How could I have let her get this bad? I was suppose to be helping her. Her brothers and friends had trusted me to help and I'd let them down. More importantly I'd let her down and now here she was too weak to support her own tiny amount of weight.

"Mhmm Jazzzzzzz" Her eyelids flickered and she managed to open her beautiful green eyes "Jazzzyyyy" She smiled weakly, she was still clucking onto my top.

"Yeah?" I almost smiled at her.

"My head hurts" She tried to move her arm but it just flopped limply.

"I know honey, but you'll be fine"

"I know I will" Our eyes met "Because you promised me I would be" I smiled at hear weakly, I was still hoping she would be ok. I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

I saw the ambulance start coming into the car park.

"Jasper?" Her eyes were closed now.

"Yeah?" I lowered her slightly.

"Don't leave me" She sounded scared, it broke my heart.

"I won't baby, I promise"

"Good" She moved slightly, the men were getting out the ambulance with a stretcher and making their way over "I love you Jasper" Her voice was a tiny whisper now.

"I love you too Alice" She became completely limp in my arms.

**Second to last chapter guys! Wahooooo! **


	33. Chapter 33

**APOV.**

I could feel myself slowly drifting back into consciousness, not that that was a good thing. I could feel an ache in every part of my body, I felt limp like a rag doll.

Suddenly I became aware of some weird beepy noises and the hum of what must have been electronic devices of some sort. Their was a smell in the air, it smelt slightly flowery but almost like the flowers were masking another smell.

I couldn't swallow, my head was feeling more and more like it had been hit with a pan as I got more conscious and I had the weird sensation that their was something in my forearm...

Where the fuck was I? I tried to cast my memory as far back as I could remember. This just made my already aching head hurt more.

I didn't know where I was and I didn't know what was going on, and trying to think just hurt.

I needed to figure out what was going on, where I was and more importantly where Jasper was. But to do any of this I'd have to open my eyes. The concentration would make my head hurt worse but it had to be done.

Very slowly my eyes began to open. Bit by bit dim light began to stream into my eyes and I was faced with my feet and the white wall opposite. I began to take in my surroundings very slowly.

The white walls, uncomfortable metal bed, lots of noisy machines and the flowers on the table next to me.

It dawned on me then where I was, I was at the hospital.

Why was I in the hospital? I began to try and start trying to think of reasons I was there as I took in my surroundings some more...

I stopped thinking completely, as I'd been looking round the room I'd spotted Jasper sat to my left. His eyes were puffy and his hair was messy.

I held his gave, his eyes were full of sadness. I reached for his hand then was suddenly more aware of the IV needle stuck into my wrist.

"OW" I gasped as the sharp pain had filled my arm. Jasper flinched and took my hand so that I didn't have to move.

"Jasper" My voice was nothing but a small croak "What happened?" I was so desperate to know what had been going on, I was too confused.

"Do you not remember?" His voice was slow and sad, he chewed his lip and I shook my head "We went to school and you were-" He moved closer and stroked my hair "You were really sick, you lasted till second period then came to find me and you were throwing up and coming in and out of consciousness" He bit his lip like it was stopping him from crying "I called 911 and now you're here" His voice shook, like it was about to break.

I couldn't believe I'd let this happen. I could not believe I'd been so selfish and put Jasper through all of this. I should have eaten for him, I should have got better for him. I should have got better for him and my brothers.

"Jasper I'm so sorry" My voice broke, I could feel hot tears run down my cheeks "I'm so sorry I put you through this, you deserve better! I've been so selfish-"

"No!" I looked up at him shocked "You have an issue, we should have both tried getting you help sooner, you weren't being selfish" I turned away, letting the tears low heavily down my cheeks.

"I have been Jazz, I really have" I tried to steady my shaky voice "I should have tried harder to get better for you" I paused "I should have got better for you and my brothers" More tears fell "I'm so sorry"

"Shhh" Jasper wiped away my tears "We both should have tried harder, but neither of us knew what to do" He kissed my forehead.

"If I hadn't been so selfish-" He cut me off again.

"You weren't Alice, you have a really seriously issue that you can't help" He tried to sooth me "You couldn't help it" I looked up into his beautiful eyes.

"I'm still sorry Jasper, you didn't deserve to have to deal with all of this" I could feel my lip wobble.

"Alice, I wouldn't change you for the world. No matter what you have wrong with you I'll always be by your side, I love you" I looked directly at him, my eyes wide.

"You still love me? After all this?"

"Of course I do" He began to smile. I could feel myself smiling too.

"Good, because I love you too" He lent over and kissed my lips lightly.

**So this chapter was short I know but I've decided to do two more chapters.**

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	34. Chapter 34

**JPOV.**

"Jasper?" Her voice still sounded so broken "What's going to happen now?" I looked up at her, I could see the fear in her eyes. It echoed something she'd said to me before she collapsed, _I just want to be thin._

"In the morning my Dad is gonna run some more tests and figure out a plan" I'd been through this with him many times while Alice was still out.

"Oh" She chewed her lip "What time is it now?" I had to check my phone screen to find out.

"Just gone six thirty" She looked surprised.

"Wow, how long was I out for then?"

I looked down at my hands, this had been the worst part. It wasn't waiting for her to wake up, it was waiting for her to wake up and be herself again.

"Well you got in here at about half eight yesterday morning" I was playing it through in my mind "Then they took you off for ages checking you over and doing a physical diagnosis"

"And what did they say" She was hanging on my every word, she looked so scared. It was horrible to watch.

"You have malnutrition, anemia and" I paused, I didn't want to have to tell Alice this.

"Jazz? What else?" She tried to move closer to me to comfort me but couldn't because of her IV. I reached for her other hand so I was holding both of them.

"They said" I looked away " They said you're infertile" Her breathing changed, it was too quick, I looked down at her sad little face "I'm so sorry Alice" Her breathing started to become normal again.

"Anything else?" Her voice was dry and cracked.

"They said your bones are weak too and to have some damage to your stomach lining" She rolled her head to face away from me, I knew she was crying.

"Ali?" She looked back at me with tear stains on her thin cheek bones "You'll be ok" I was still trying to convince myself, I wiped the last remaining tears as she gave me a small smile.

"So what happened after they diagnosed me?" I thought back to what had been a very long day and night.

"It took them ages to let me in to see you, it was after look time when they let me in" I paused thinking "Then at about three or four your brothers came" Her head snapped up.

"They'll be so angry with me Jazz! And my parents-"

"Shhh" I stroked her hair "They're not angry Ali"

"They aren't?" She asked in disbelieve.

"Nope, they're just upset they didn't act sooner and didn't figure out what was going on properly for so long" She nodded and chewed her lip some more.

"Did my parents come?" I didn't know how to tell her this either.

"Edward said they're out of town for a few months" Her harsh glare met my sad eyes "Alice-"

"No Jazz, they should be here" You could hear here heart monitor begin to beep faster now "Did Edward or the hospital not tell them?"

"Alice calm down, it's not good for you" I gestured to the machine.

"Sorry" She still looked angry.

"Emmett and Edward both phoned them" She was gripping my hands so tightly "They're not coming home and I think until you turn 18 Edward and or Emmett with be your guardians" She nodded.

"Well the money from them comes through once I'm 18" She paused "And graduation is coming up soon" She let go of my hands and covered her face with her own "What am I going to do Jazz?"

"Ali you'll be fine! You've got really high grades and I'm sure you'll be healthy for the finals" I tried to sooth her.

"They're only three weeks away!" She panicked.

"Alice, honestly you need to stop panicking otherwise the nurses will come in again because of your heart rate" She nodded and giggled slightly.

"When did Edward and Emmett leave?" I took her hands in mine again as her heart rate slowed.

"Well, you kept waking up and not knowing who anyone was" I looked down not wanting to show Alice how much it had upset me, she felt bad enough "It was really freaky and kinda upset them so they left at about half nine"

**APOV.**

I'd managed to upset Jasper and both my brothers and probably set myself up to not graduate. And now looking down at my stick like arms it didn't seem worth it, not one bit.

"I feel so bad" I could feel my lip begin to wobble.

"Well, you are ill enough to be in hospital so-"

"No Jazz, I meant about what I've done to everyone" Jasper shook his head at this.

"It's not you who should be feeling bad, it's all of us who knew and didn't do anything" I looked up at him about to retort but he spoke again "And believe me, we all feel terrible about all this-"

"Exactly! Non of you should be feeling bad" I took another breath to carry on with my case but Jasper put a finger against my lips to silence me.

"Ok, no blame" He removed his finger from my lips "It's non of our faults, what's done is done and now we need to get you better so you can graduate" I chewed my lip for a moment thinking over what he'd said.

I'd lied to them about my issues but then again they could have forced me to get help and been a bit more pushy. Jasper was right, this was non of our faults.

"Ok, I agree" I smiled at him and for the first time in what felt like forever, he smiled too.

We talking for a while about what our plan was for after we'd graduated. We both planned to go to Central Michigan University, I'd applied for Art History and Jasper had applied for Philosophy.

"Jazz, you do know non of this will happen if I don't graduate" I sighed.

"I have hope in you Alice, I bet you anything you'll graduate" He tweaked my nose which made me giggle.

At that moment Dr Cullen stroke into the room. He was holding a clipboard, a tape measure and a set of scales. I felt physically sick, I clutched Jaspers hand tighter.

"Glad to see you're conscious Alice" He smiled at me and I tried to smile back as he turned to Jasper "May I have a quick word with you first before I examine Alice?" Jasper nodded and they left the room immediately.

Being on my own for the first time since regaining consciousness I had time to reflect on what Jasper had told me, what had been in the back of my mind ever since he'd told me.

_Infertile. _

I'd never even been too keen on children, I'd never really known if I'd wanted them. But now I knew I didn't have the option, that I'd damaged my body so harshly I couldn't have the choice.

I was deep in this thought when Jasper and Dr Cullen came back in.

"Alright Alice, I'm going to have to take your measurements, weigh you and ask you a few questions" I nodded and began to sit up in my ugly uncomfortable hospital gown.

I was so shocked at how weak my body felt. I was sat up with my legs dangling over one side of the bed. Jasper saw my discomfort and came to sit next to me and took my hand.

Dr Cullen took my measurements and the ones I had to stand up for Jasper kept me supported for. He'd measure my hips, waist, thigh, arm and my height. He didn't tell me what my measurements were, he just wrote them down onto the form on his clipboard.

"Right, I'm afraid I'm going to have to weigh you too" He turned to the scales he'd put down next to the wall, Jasper led me over.

I stepped onto the electric scales, they weren't like mine at home they were much more modern. I slightly missed the way the black numbers and white background had turned to grey then stopped at a number. These just showed up a number.

80lbs.

I was in shock, I had never expected my weight to have dropped so dramatically since I'd left my parents house. If anything I'd have expected to have put on weight...

Doctor Cullen didn't say anything he just wrote the numbers in on his sheet, his expression was blank.

I looked at Jasper he was looking away from the scales with a look of disgust on his face. I stepped off the scales and reached for his hand. I was still looking up at him but he didn't look back.

"Well" I turned to look at Doctor Cullen "That puts your BMI at 15.6 so to get you to a slightly more BMI you'll be looking at a 10lb weight gain" I could feel my mouth drop a little "Don't worry, we'll also get you the help you have a more positive attitude towards food and to get your body back healthy again.

He asked me a few questions about my self image and then went to send off a refferal to see a councilor who deals with a lot of eating disorder clients.

I was sat back on the bed and Jasper was sat not the chair, still not looking at me. I left it a moment till I said anything but I had to break the silence.

"Jasper" I whispered "I'm so sorry, I never meant to-"

"No Alice, that's not why I'm annoyed" He sighed and took my hands "I'm annoyed that I didn't get you help sooner and that you've got so thin and that you've damaged your body and-" It was my turn to cut him off now.

"Hey!" I slapped his hand "No blame remember!" He tried to stay serious but ended up smiling.

"Ok, no blame" He sighed "We'll get through this I promise you"

"I know we will"

And with that he lent over and kiss me.

**Aw, second to last chapter how cute! **

**Next chapter will be the last so y'all better be reviewing! :p **


	35. Chapter 35

**APOV.**

I busied myself with my morning routine. In the shower I washed my hair, exfoliated my face, shaved my legs and scrubbed myself with strawberry scented shower gel till I could smell it on myself. Then blow drying my hair, drying my body and moisturizing.

As I brushed my teeth I stared at my reflection, it was odd how different I looked now to my graduation picture. My cheek bones had been too prominent, skin too pale and my eyes had looked like they were popping out of my face. It was odd now, six months on, how different I looked.

My hair had grown, it hung in thick waves just below my shoulders. My eyes no longer looked too big for my face, my high cheekbones were noticeable for the right reasons and my skin looked vibrant.

Even after gaining 15lbs I still looked slim. Rather than having a child like body, I now have a more womanly yet petite figure.

"Ali?" Jasper asked softly knocking quietly.

"Come in Jazz" I was still wrapped in a towel and still had my tooth brush in my mouth.

He was fully dressed in black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and a khaki green hoody. This was his casual saturday attire. He couldn't have been ready for long because his hair was still slightly damp.

"Still not dressed?" He smirked as he took a seat in the whicker chair in the corner of the bathroom.

"I'm afraid not" I rinsed my mouth out placing my toothbrush back in its place "I just need to get dressed then we can go" I turned to face him as he eyed the towel draped round me "Stop it, sneaky" He moved towards me wrapping his arms round my waist.

"We could always just stay home and-"

"Jasper, I'm hungry and I want pancakes" I pouted at him knowing he couldn't possibly say no.

"Get dressed then, you know they stop serving breakfast at 12" I rolled my eyes and walked back into our room, he followed.

Our apartment was perfect. It was the right size for us with all the perfect furniture. It was elegant but not too modern, it had all the original features making it look authentic.

I reached my wardrobe and dressed in a pair of deep blue acid wash jeans and a grey David Bowie t-shirt. I added a black hoodie knowing it was cool out.

I turned to head towards the shoe rack but Jasper was there with my battered red converse in his hands "Thanks Jazzy" he just smiled. I pulled on a black leather jacket and added a dark grey beanie had. Jasper had his coat on too.

"I can't believe it, you're ready and it's not even 11" He smirked as he took my hand.

"I know, I must be ill or something" I joked as I grabbed my bag and he looked at me seriously, he could be more sensitive than I was about past events. I reached onto my toes and kissed him softly.

"It'll never be like that again Jasper" He nodded and we left our apartment.

The air was cold and the wind was strong, unless we'd previously lived in Forks we wouldn't have been used to this. I clutched Jaspers hand keeping close to him as the wind howled through my hair.

"It's like being at home isn't it" Jasper laughed "Are you ready to go home next week?" I could feel his eyes on me. Next week we'd be heading home for winter break and going back to the chaos that had spun me out of control.

"I think I'll manage" I smiled reassuringly at him as we turned a corner heading into a small cafe.

The bell rung as we entered and we were greeted with the warm smell of coffee and fresh pastries. We came here every saturday for brunch.

"Let me guess two black coffees, a bacon sandwich and an order of blueberry pancakes?" The elderly woman always served us, we were regulars now. We laughed and payed before taking our usual seats away from the door tucked into a corner.

"It'll be so nice in summer to sit outside for our brunch" I stared towards the covered seats outside the window.

"Everything's nice when I'm with you"

"Jasper!" I rolled my eyes but I couldn't help but smile. He was too good to me.

"So our plans for next summer" He began reaching out and taking my hand across the table.

We were planning a trip to south America to visit Peru, Brazil and Argentina. The one thing I had to be thankful for from my parents was their money if nothing else. Despite not seeing me since my birthday in July they still managed to transfer large amounts of money into my bank and send the occasional email. They did care, deep down I knew this and I could live with it.

Our food was brought to us and we ate happily talking about the things we'd see on our travels like the statue of Jesus in Rio De Janeiro and Machu Picchu in Peru. We carried on like this till we got home and curled up on the sofa. I hadn't noticed it'd gone quiet till Jasper spoke.

"What are you thinking?" His head was tilted as he looked at me.

"I can see us traveling" He smiled brushing my hair away from my face and leaning slightly closer "Our future is so bright, we have all these opportunities" His face softened.

I climbed onto his knee resting my head against his shoulder as his strong arms held me tight.

"This is how things are supposed to be Jasper"


End file.
